Reborn from the ashes from hell

Hawks POV

Flashback

I have missed time with Izuku in a long time. The hero commission also started to send me to more dangerous missions to kill the missions also don't respect morale anymore. The moral dropped with every mission. My job is no longer to actually capture the bad guy, but rather to fight him and look heroic in the process.

It's just complete bullshit. People are dying because of these stupid orders. I have more and more known missions on TV I feel seriously feel more like a star in a movie and an awful lot of merchant of me has been created. I no longer feel like a hero, but more like an actor. But I always knew that was the case, I'm a puppet that's kept on a string and they show the play for the money to come. Not that they leave me with nothing.

Yes, now I have to go on more and more missions while fighting very famous villains, so people can say that this famous villain was killed by me Hawks. Yes, killed. I had several times the mission to kill instead of just taking to prison. I was wondering already why I had to learn how to hide a body in the hero commission. Probably so no one will know that I killed and doesn't matter how I feel I often do not feel worthy to have such a pure and happy child like Izuku by my side.

I often argue with my other friends too. Often because they're worried about me, because I've fainted again somewhere. Or that I've trained so much that all I want to do is sleep and just the thought of chicken nuggets makes me nauseous. But I don't understand the point of calling an ambulance. Seriously Dabi. Chicken nuggets are not my whole personality.

So if I don't want them there is no need to call a fucking ambulance 

I'm a bad hero, I've realized that and if I ever had a choice, I wouldn't be a hero. Dabi and Miriko know what I do and hate it, we argue about it a lot. And they often use the guide card. By saying what Izuku would think about it.

I don't want to hear that! He's like a little brother to me!

I had a big fight with the hero commission. In which I cursed a lot, at first it was just a threat that I'd say ,but then it was a threat in that I held my feathers against Ron's neck. I hate that moron.

But before I could slit his throat and end his ridiculous existence he said something that made my blood run cold. I remember every word.

Ron: Did you ever think that you might have family other than your parents who you loathed and were so abusive. Maybe siblings that are still suffering withe your parents.

I had been mute he had offered to give me the address of my former parents to find out about my brother from them. I couldn't say no. The only thing I had to do was work more and go on these missions.

So it happened to be able to save my brother and to be the hero for him, so to speak, to get him out of the terrible claws of my parents. To do this, I have to be a bad hero and satisfy the hero commission.

At first I only fainted once in public but then more and more often, even in flight, fortunately I wasn't far from the ground. Sometimes I visit Izuku and bring him with me but I don't want to risk to fly. The only thing he gives me is a weak smile before he says I look tired. Nothing about fainting in the public or what I've become.

It's no wonder Stain attacked me in the end. I really would have had a chance if I hadn't almost fainted only while putting myself in fighting position. I don't know what was worse for me that I almost died or that my only regret would have been that I would never see Izuku and my brother who suffered under my parents again if I survived. Was this terrible that this to things are the only thinks keeping me going. Only because a random vigilante was there and Stain left without being completely sure that I was dead. And surprise I survived 

The next day, Dabi brought Izuku  he ran over to hug me. And Dabi just left. That asshole I told him to not bring Izuku I'm in a bad condition right now.

Izuku: What happened.

Me: I wasn't a good hero... I am sorry. I made a lot of mistakes and got attacked by Stain.

Izuku: He'll regret it

Me: What?

Izuku: He'll regret it