Why does it have to be the way it is? (Soukoku)

Disclaimer: sensitive topics like miscarriage, not for light hearted person, smut.

They looked into each other's eyes. The older leaned towards his partner and kissed him soon younger melted into the kiss. It was sweet and passionate, they broke the kiss and chuuya said "I love you" and he replied "l love you too".

Chuuya's pov:
I watched him from a distance he looked ethereal from the dim light on his pale skin. God why does he have to soo beautiful, he sure says that he is handsome but it is just the words coming out of his mouth he never really acknowledged it. I kissed him and said that I love him.
This time he leaned towards me and kissed me, the tension was built as we both started making out it took him several months to be intimate with me. I didn't want to rush and wanted this to be mutual so I never pushed him in this matter. I was happy that he fully trusted me. Soon my hand reached his waist and his hands on neck. The kiss was messier and I was exploring every part of mouth. I gently pushed him to the bed removed his shirt and undressed myself and kissed him again on his lips, neck, hips and some part of his leg. I knew he was trans from the very beginning it was never a problem to me though he was hesitant to say it thinking that I might not love him.

Dazai's pov:

I looked into his ocean blue eyes he looked mesmerizing, he made me feel comfortable this is the first time someone really made me feel this is pleasant and asked my consent . I was nervous but trust him with my life.He kissed me and slowly he put his length in me. After a while I adjusted he started to move slowly and gradually increased his speed. The experience was pleasurable filled with moans and not screams . He inseminated inside me later we both reached our climax. He cleaned himself and took care of me . I never thought chuuya is that gentle, I didn't feel pain though my body was  a bit sore.

After few months-

Oda died and Dazai's heart was shattered into a million pieces. He had to leave port mafia and was threatened if dare say anything to Chuuya they would kill Kouyou and frame it on him , the trap was already set if he didn't agree they would kill her. Dazai knew Ane-san was like odasaku to Chuuya, loosing her would make him miserable. So he had no choice but to leave without saying to him.

After a month in hideout he was feeling dizzy, had nausea and was anaemic. He then found out that he was pregnant. He was happy and extremely nervous now he has someone who would be his family ,only his. Though Ango is unforgivable he was the one who helped him during his pregnancy and erasing his records, it was his way of telling me that he is sorry for his actions I can't forgive him but can't hate him either. My pregnancy was unstable as my mental health wasn't great but I tried my best when it was my  second trimester I was about to go to the hospital for check up but felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen, blood was flowing and stained the tiles I was panicked for the first time in my life like this. I soon fell unconscious on the floor. I was admitted in the hospital as Ango saw me later when he returned from the work. I woke up in a hospital dorm I could no longer feel my baby and realised the baby was miscarried. The doctor said that I was weak both physically and emotionally,I had twins which made it even more complicated,the foetus wasn't  well developed, I had uterine cancer and my uterus has to be removed.
I was right nothing stays in life,  nothing I try to pursue is going to be pursued.I was like a living corpse and I didn't speak one word.
I went back to the place where I lived the next day I saw the blood stained floor it wasn't cleaned because ango was with me the whole time and had to leave me because he had some important work. I was cleaning my own flesh and blood.

The floor was stained  and it was dry he had to rub the floor with all strength to clean it, all his pain was shown through his actions he didn't even notice ango entering the house and kept scrubbing the floor.

Ango's pov:
I had to leave Dazai at home and had to go immediately regarding Dazai's crime records. I am worried as seeing Dazai's state in the hospital.When I entered the room I saw Dazai cleaning the floor, beside him was bucket filled with blood , I was soo stupid I should have came first or made someone to clean before, how could I forget? I said Dazai to leave so I would clean as the stain was dry and would took a lot of effort, Dazai was tired and weak after miscarriage. But Dazai refused, he said me to shut up through action he didn't speak and started cleaning while crying. This is probably the first time I saw him cry.His state was miserable he didn't let me help,he cleaned everything and slept due to tiredness. Next week was his operation but he didn't go to hospital. There was no light in his eyes he wanted to die. I sedated him and admitted to hospital and explained his situation partially to the doctor.The operation was  successful. He can no longer bear a child or have periods as his uterus is removed. He woke up and knew what happened but didn't say anything. He didn't speak remained silent after the incident. I know it is hard but he had to get out of it. I met the ada president Fukuzawa and asked him to lend him job even the chief helped him as he recommended Dazai. He knew Dazai was in port mafia and was a executive but he wanted to change so he gave him a chance.