shadows of solace

Everything began with a little girl, born on 05/11/2001, caught in a world of sorrow and neglect. From the start, it seemed like life had dealt her a cruel hand—filled with pain, confusion, and a sense of not belonging. Her parents were distant, emotionally unavailable—her father absent and her mother lost in her own struggles.

By the time she was five, the girl already felt something was wrong, even though she couldn't name it. A quiet shame would settle over her in the moments when her parents weren’t looking, when she was alone. She didn’t understand why, but it was there: a nagging feeling that she wasn’t enough, that she didn’t matter. Neglect wasn’t just physical—it was emotional, deep and suffocating, and the bullying from others only made it worse.

By the time she turned nine, things had become unbearable. Tomorrow marked her tenth birthday, but the thought of it filled her with dread. Birthdays were supposed to be a time for celebration, but for her, it only reminded her of how little she had to look forward to. The years passed, and each one felt heavier than the last. In the quiet of her room, she would often wish for an escape—for herself or for everything to just end. But those wishes never came true. It wasn’t fair.

"Why am I still here?" she wondered, her heart aching in silence. "Why can’t it be different?"

"I just want everything to stop," she thought, the weight of it pressing down on her mind.

Her thoughts were cut off by the sound of her father's voice—loud, angry, and demanding.

"Y/N! GET DOWN HERE NOW!"

The voice was sharp and filled with frustration. She knew what would happen if she didn’t respond. Fear surged in her chest, and she quickly tried to pull herself together.

"Co-coming, Pa..." she whispered, her voice small, shaking.

Her words were clumsy—she hated how they came out. She wasn’t able to speak like the others, not the way she wanted to. But she couldn’t waste time thinking about that now. She rushed out of her room, heading into the living room that, despite its brokenness, was still called "home." The air was thick with tension, and the place itself felt suffocating, with clothes and trash scattered about as though no one cared to clean.

"Finally," her father muttered under his breath. "What took you so long?"

Her mother chimed in from somewhere nearby, her tone biting. "She thinks she's better than us. Doesn’t even know what real pain is."

The words stung. They were all she could hear now, swirling in her mind. Her heart raced. She couldn’t let it show, couldn’t let them see how much it hurt, but it was becoming harder and harder to hide.

"T-that’s not true..." she stammered, trying to explain, but the words got stuck in her throat. "I just... I came as fast as I... I... I..."

Her voice trailed off, the sentence unfinished. She felt helpless, unable to form the right words, even though she was desperate to make them understand.

Her father’s face twisted with anger. "You think you can get away with this? You think you’re somehow above us? You’ll never be anything more than what we made you. You’re nothing without us, and don’t think I won’t remind you of that every day."

Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. She felt small, invisible, as if her presence didn’t matter at all. She wanted to speak, to defend herself, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, she felt the tears fall silently, streaking down her cheeks as she turned to leave.

"Yes, Father," she murmured quietly, her voice barely a whisper.

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A/N - OMGG FIRST CHAPTER OUTTT IS THE PLOT EATING 😵?? LMK IN THE COMMENTS MY CUTIES