One-shot's: Deadpool x Reader

"Take it off."

"You go first."

"I asked you first."

"And I told you I wouldn't take it off unless you take it off."

That's right, the spider boy still doesn't trust me. And, honestly, I'm curious to see how much of a kid he is. Stark says he's sixteen, but, please, he looks shorter than a fourteen-year-old.

"I'm your superior, so you have to take it off first."

"Uh, no. You're not my superior. Everyone here says you're my cheap copy."

I clutch my chest, feigning offense. I turn to the other Avengers, who are enjoying this little drama, but none of them are jumping in to make the kid take off his mask. Just then, the elevator doors slide open, and ta-da! Y/N appears, as if the universe itself decided we needed a third opinion.

"Again?" she snorts. "Seriously, girls, you're both pretty. Stop fighting already! Besides, we all know your faces. S.H.I.E.L.D. sends out the dossier before anyone joins the team, you know?"

She rolls her eyes and plops down on the couch, leaving the other Avengers peeling their attention away from us like we're a filler episode of One Piece.

"Hey, come to think of it, I've never seen your face either," I accuse her. 

It's an unsolved mystery. She always wears the mask, even when she eats or goes to the infirmary.

"Oh, yes, that's true!" Spidey chimes in. "It must be harder for a girl, with long hair and all."

Oh, the kid's got a point. I mean, do I even know what color her skin is? Nope. Seen her eyes? Negative. Her hair? Not a clue. Age? Pfft, your guess is as good as mine. It's like everyone around here thinks I'm freakin' Thanos or something. Because they don't trust me. What, is this because I borrowed Stark's armor that one time? Geez, one little heist and suddenly I'm public enemy number one.

"It's better this way," Stark pipes up, all serious-like. "I don't want any of you bothering her."

Oh, sure, Tony, because that won't just make us more curious! Classic move. Y/N chuckles softly, probably already envisioning the trainwreck of egos that's about to unfold here.

"Why don't we make it fair?" Y/N suggests, ever the mediator. "The three of us take off our masks at the same time."

Hah, yeah right. I cross my arms, eyeing Spidey over here. Still, what the hell. Let's play along.

"Three... two... one..." Y/N counts down, and Spidey pulls off his mask. Me? Still standing here, arms crossed.

"Wooow, you're sixteen," I say, trying to sound impressed. Kid's face still has that "I might need a fake ID" vibe, but you can tell he's starting to grow into his superhero tights.

He glares at me like I just told him Santa's not real. And then—oh no—you can feel the teenage angst simmering. He goes for my mask, but I'm no fool, I step back.

"Hey! Y/N didn't take hers off either!" I call out, pointing an accusatory finger like I'm on some masked soap opera. T/N just grins, like the puppet master she is, shrugging like, "Who, me?"

"I took mine off. Your turn," she smirks.

Before I can get out a clever quip, thwip! Spidey's webs go flying—one to my face, one to Y/N's—and just like that, we're yanked down like a couple of clowns at a rodeo. I face-plant in true Deadpool fashion. Y/N? She's caught mid-mask-off move, all tangled up.

And that, kids, is why you never trust anyone in a mask-off competition.

Banner and Thor tag-team me from behind. Hands? Immobilized. Feet? Also immobilized. I'm basically a sad human burrito at this point. Then, Spidey over here, mask in hand, decides to unmask me. The grip on my wrist goes all soft. His face is a total mix of guilt and amazement. And the others? Oh yeah, they're staring at me like I'm the main attraction at a freakshow. So flattering.