With Me

Jordan is slowly recovering in the hospital. It's been another week since he has slowly begun to look like himself without the halo around his head. He is still weak, still not remembering things and now and then struggles with speech. Jordan gets regular visits from his nero doctor, doctor, physio, and speech therapist. Today we find out if all the plaster cast can come off soon. He needs to start being able to move around a bit. His speech is getting better as he talks without slurring words but it's a start. It's heartbreaking to see him like this, especially when you see him as a famous rockstar. He should be up on stage singing out his songs to thousands of fans. It will be a while before he can do that again. He was asleep when I came in to see him. I sit down next to him and watch him sleep. I can't wait for all the cast to be removed. I hate seeing him so helpless and having to rely on people. He hates to rely on people to help him. He isn't that type of Rock Star. It wasn't long for him to wake up.

"Ava".

"Hey, you. How are you feeling? Good sleep". He sleeps just about the same before the accident.

"Yea good sleep" he replied still looking very sleepy.

"We should find out today if the casts you have can be removed. What do you think about that?".

"Okay, I guess".

"But then you will be able to move. Then be able to go home".

"But I don't want to go home Mom and Jon will be there".

"No home with me. You know we live together right".

He looks over at me with a confused look. "No".

Poor him he has forgotten about us living together. He looked at me all confused about what he had heard. I wanted to know what day and month it was according to him. His amnesia has made him lose a few months give or take. Jordan is still looking all confused and uncomfortable in the way he is lying there in bed.

"You don't look comfortable there".

"I'm fine. But I do want to go home".

"You aren't ready to go home yet, especially with all the cast still".

"I don't want to be here anymore".

"Shall I see if Tiffany or Joe will come and visit you later, would you like that".

"Yeah, not Jon or my mom".

"Okay, I will get just Joe and Tiffany to come. Do you want to see the twins?".

He looked at me " Who?".

"Christian and Sofia". He doesn't register what I am talking about. "Still don't remember them being born".

"No" he replies "Not time yet for them".

"Okay, Jordan" I am going to ask him a question. "What is the date today?".

I can hear the clockwork working in his head. "October".

"It's way later than that".

"Oh," he says.

"You have been here since after Christmas well December".

"Have I?".

"Yes". He looks worried and confused. "Don't worry about it. It will all come back". I come over and carefully hug him as much as the plaster cast will allow. "I will stay for your appointment, shall I?". As I hug him I can feel the tears. There was my very strong independent fiance sobbing his heart out. Don't know how long we were like this cos soon we heard the door go. There was a nurse with a portable X-ray machine. His doctor was behind him with another male nurse. Oh, it's his appointment time. I guess this way they don't really move him as much. The poor guy is looking very worried about the machine being there.

"How are you feeling today, Jordan?" replied his doctor.

"Okay, I guess".

"Any pain". Jordan shakes his head. "Today we are going to see if all the plaster cast can be finally removed. You had quite severe injuries from your car accident" the doctor carries on "You were very lucky".

"Don't feel very lucky".

"You are here aren't you?".

"I guess" Jordan replied to my comment. He is lucky cos we nearly lost him. His selfless act nearly cost him his life. He wanted to make sure I was okay and the twins were okay. He didn't think about himself or what would happen to his whole family if we lost him.

I sat back and allowed them to get Jordan ready for his X-ray. The nurse was getting the machine ready while the doctor and male nurse porter moved Jordan so he was laid down on his bed. As they move him I can tell he is hurting as he crumbles up his face. I think the pain is from not doing much these last few weeks. I sat watching them place the X-ray boards under him when he was finally lying flat out on his bed. I moved to outside the room when they were X-raying to the annoyance of Jordan who wanted me there with him.

"But I can't Jordan. The x-ray machine. I have to be out of the room when it's in use".

"But I want you here with me".

"You are happy for me to be here while it could affect me and my health and our kid's health".

"No".

"Then I will be just outside not far".

"I'm scared".

"I'm just out here okay". He nods. I kiss him on the lip before I leave.

I was once back in the room when they were finished X-raying him. They were going to look at the results and will be soon. He looked brighter now than he did when I left earlier.

"It will be good news. I can feel it" I say.

"I hope so. I am so bored here".

"But I don't think you are allowed yet". Nothing ...

Later we were outside with Jordan finally in a wheelchair with no cast on his body. He was in normal clothes a sweatshirt and sweat pants. Sat in the hospital grounds soaking up the winter sun.

"The sun feels good doesn't it?".

"Yes it does" he replies looking up at the sky and closing his eyes. "I wanna go home".

"You still got a while yet. Your cast has only just come off". I know I can't reason with him. He really wants to come home.

I sent a text to both Tiffany and Joe.

Me: can you come and see Jordan more often he is kinda feeling lonely. He really wants to come home.

Me: good news his casts have come off

Joe: of course I can. Great news

Tiffany: I can too. Yay, great news.

"Both your sister and brother will visit you".

"Not Jon".

"No not Jon," I say "What about your dad?".

"Yes but not Mom".

"You know she will come anyway".

"Don't want to see her". He looks away and tries to fold his arms in front of him but only one does move that way. He looks at me confused.

"Your arm is still weak. Give it time". He sighs.

I am not going to push it. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him from behind. He turns his head and kisses me. I didn't expect to hear.

"Can we do it? Been too long".

I am too shocked to reply...