The Love Hack

Arty

Ben just continued to stare at me, tilting his head a little to the side in a feigned confusion.

Of course, he'd make me say it. Ben never let me off easy.

"The night," I started, feeling my mouth immediately dry up as I tried to find the words, "where I made a complete idiot of myself."

His hand was still there, resting on top of mine, tracing patterns with his fingers.

Ben chuckled, tilting his chin up a little. "You're going to have to be more specific."

I groaned, leaning back into the couch. I felt my heart racing and my palms were beginning to sweat, and I wondered if Ben could feel it. I was anxious.

"I mean, seriously, how am I supposed to know if you're talking about the night of the Halloween party where you spent the whole time hitting on a guy in a sexy priest costume until you realized he was an actual priest, or the night that you got a blood infection from tripping while giving me a piggyback and then cleaning the wound with orange juice," Ben teased.

I groaned louder this time, slumping so far into the couch I was practically horizontal. "Ugh!" I screamed out, holding a pillow over my face like it might shield me from the memories Ben was reconjuring.

I glanced up from behind the pillow, shooting him a glare. "I'm not talking about the Halloween party. Or the orange juice thing."

Ben leaned back, his arms crossed as he smirked at me. "Okay, so not 'Father Flirt' or the 'OJ Infection', that still leaves so many options."

"Forget it," I muttered. Ben gripped my hand tighter, sensing the seriousness of my tone. He started to interlock his fingers with mine, but I didn't need his pity. "It doesn't matter." I pushed Ben's hand away and pulled my legs up onto the couch so he wasn't touching my anymore. I wrapped my arms around my legs, resting my chin on top of my knees. From the corner of my eye I could see Ben's smile falter. He shifted next to me, but he didn't say anything.

Talia was dead-wrong. There was no way that Ben didn't know the night I was referring to, which meant that all this teasing was a thinly veiled attempt at avoiding the topic. If he was in love with me, as Talia claimed, why would he so badly want to pretend that it never happened?

And why would he? Talia's theory had been ridiculous to begin with. I was an idiot to have even believed it for a second. Just like I had told her, Ben wasn't in love with me.

But now I felt transported back to my 18 year old self, just figuring out who I was, and stupidly hopeful. I had let myself have hope again about Ben, even after all these years.

"No," Ben said, a finality to his voice as he shook his head, "We are not doing this. I am not risking you going back into your room for a week this time without talking to me."

I blinked at him, stunned by the sharpness in his tone. But my mind got stuck on the use of his word we, swirling it around in my mind like it meant something.

"It's nothing, I'm fine," I deflected.

"Arty, you literally recoiled from me," Ben pointed out, gesturing a hand to my current state.

"It's not that big of a deal," I muttered, hugging my knees tighter. I avoided his eyes, focusing instead on a stray thread unraveling from the blanket that I was pulling around myself.

"Is it because I was touching your hand?"

"No!" I immediately exclaimed, a little too intensely, and then felt my cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment.