I'm just better. || Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!reader

For a moment, my brain was savoring this moment, soaking up the intimacy and the pure want and drive that I, well, wanted. The gentle demand, the grip, the look in his eyes. I was at a lose for words.

I parted my lips to say something but nothing came out. 

"Sage." 

"I-" I stammered for a moment. "A few days ago.. You, um.. You told me that you were only interested in me a-at the moment."

I got angry because I was getting attached to you.

Of course I didn't say that. I wasn't ready if at all to reveal something so raw like that. So vulnerable. So pathetic.

He studied my face for a moment.

"That's why you left my room like that.." He thought out loud. "Because you were upset."

"I wasn't upset." I retort, brows furrowing.

"Then what was it? You were upset because we bonded and I hurt that bond."

I sat there for a moment, tense and still. I searched every corner of my mind for any response, a desperate search. One that I could shield the blow of the truth. Hearing it out loud made me almost wince.

He grip loosened a bit.

"You don't want to admit it, do you? Because from what I've seen from you, from getting to know you, your scared. Your scared because your a 'weapon'. Some concept pathetic people have forced into your head, into the carvings of your bones for your entire life and you only know that. That's why they treat you like a machine, why you treat yourself like a machine. Why it doesn't phase you when you go outside in below freezing weather in nothing but pants and a tank top, because you've been put through the worst of it, all so the military can have the upper hand in battles, have a secret solution to everything. Your scared of experiencing human emotion because you want to move fast, because you've only ever moved fast. Because showing human emotion and vulnerability brings some sense of shame cuz' human characteristics were shot down the second they emerged." 

From every word that he spoke, my utter shock couldn't be on more display than across my face and in my mind. He was the first person that was able to take every single static mess of thought and anger and whatever else in my head and lay it out, crystal clear in one single message. Even I wasn't able to explain it to myself, too busy shoving it aside. And here he was, slowly unbinding the threads of my woven brain and pulling it open, seeing everything and understanding it so easily. Something I wouldn't be able do for many years. Maybe ever. 

His hand carefully let go of my jaw, trailing over my neck and to my upper back, meticulous and respective. Comforting.

"I understand, Sage. And I am sorry." He said, his voice dropping to a softer octave. One I hadn't expected from such a stone-cold, ruthless man. "You don't have to say anything. I only wanted to state what I know and what I've learnt from you. I want you to understand that I am safe. I can be your safe place for when you need a chance, from everything, that you can just breathe. To take a moment. That's really over used in society, and there isn't one person I know I've said that too, but I mean it. You may not trust me now, and I don't expect you too. But I will do everything I can to prove I stand on those words."

Why am I so dumbfounded? Speak. SPEAK.

But I said nothing, my eyes finding the floor and resting there, letting his words settle into my now enacted soul. And that's when he scooted closer, gently pulling me closer and wrapping his arms around me in an embrace. 

Double the dumbfoundedness. 

Though, I managed to pick my arms up and wrap them back around him. It was a foreign action, something I couldn't see myself doing, but I somehow did. My head rested on his chest for a moment, actually resting. Letting myself be okay with this. Letting my walls fall, and leaving my back and body unguarded, in trust to him.

The silence was comfortable. The human body warmth was very nice too. 

"Thank you, Riley.." I managed out, my voice a bit shaky. 

"Your welcome."

I sat on the floor, wrapped in a blanket and staring at my phone which I had set up on the desk chair, playing Garfield. I was eating a granola bar and mainly thinking of earlier, because last time I remember is I had opened the small bar pack about 45 minutes ago and I had yet to take a bite.

Riley had left about an hour ago to get us some food since the base we were stationed at didn't have much. It made sense, we were unexpected visitors. I asked for some beef pho, no white onions since when I went on google maps, that was one of the closer places. Though, I didn't know why it was taking so long. I felt kinda bad, too. But he had insisted, so there was nothing much I could do about it. 

He also had finished my stitching after we talked. It wasn't an odd moment either. It was a nice, non-awkward silence, letting us bond, I suppose, and think. Healthy, even.

The episode suddenly ended and I pouted a bit, letting my back slump even more. The spot on the floor was uncomfy so I don't know why I was still sitting like this. I snapped back into reality, clicking play on the next episode and finally eating the granola.

"...Nothing makes sense anymore!" Cried out the fat, orange and black cartoon car from the small shitty speakers on my device.

"Literally." I mumbled. 

As the heavy door began to open, I almost jolted, too comfortable in the silence to remember he was gonna have to come back that way.

And in Simon walked with 2 bags in his hands. He's eyes found me immediately.

"Who you talking too?" He asked, letting the door heave shut by itself.

"Garfield." I admit, pausing the show. "What took so long, anyways?"

"I had to pick up some stuff." He replied, walking across to his bed and setting the bags down. Inside on of the paper bags, he fished out a bowl of Pho, with a lid on it obviously, and handed it over to me with chopsticks. I gladly took it, feeling it to be hot to the touch.

"Thanks. What stuff?" 

"Well," He started, placing his food on the desk and then turning back to the other bag. From there, he had pulled out two flannel jackets, one of them being black and white, regular, and another being a jacket with a flannel on top, clearly being built together, with a hood. "I've noticed you like your flannel jackets. Since we had to abandon our old base pretty quick, I picked you up some new ones."

I took them out of his offering hand, glancing up at him.

HJBKDKSHGFUSLIAGF.

"...thank you. How'd you know my size?" 

He snickered, a rare sound. "When I went to put our clothes in the laundry, I saw the tag of your bra by accident." He shrugged. "Don't worry, I wasn't being weird. I had a little sister and had to buy her clothes so I know how to convert all sizes to each other, from bra to shirt and so on."

HBDCOGHGALSHAGAKSHLFGVHBJCEHBJFCGFVGF.

"Oh. Good skill to have." I nodded, keeping my cool. As I popped the lid off, picking my chopsticks apart and stirring it up a tad, he sat down on the ground across from me with his own food.

"Joining my ground peasantry, I see?" I joked, with a slight smile. It earned a laugh from him, still such an odd sound to hear.

"I suppose. As long as it's with you." He chuckled. My smile curled a bit wider and I took a sip of bone broth from my pho, hiding it. Given, the pho was steaming hot.

We were sitting in silence, eating and glancing about.

"..You can put Garfield back on." He suggested. I cocked a brow, opening my phone and clicking right back into Netflix.

"A man with taste." I comment as the cartoon begins to play again.