?? [ magic ] | se-mi × (fem) reader

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                      [SE-MI FLASHBACK]

It was two thousand and nineteen (2019)... and I was at my boyfriend's place.. Park Marshell.. a half korean half belgium exchange student..

He was smart.. funny.. sporty.. the exact guy every girl wanted.. which I related to.. so being me... I just picked one popular guy to call my boyfriend and called it a day..

Because I didn't want anyone to know that I was different.. I liked someone I shouldn't..

This is the story of how I became the girl I am right now, in this year and age..

                                   ____

"Baby.. you're so hot.." Marshell said.. touching my thigh.. and I hated it.. but just powered through and smiled.. putting my hand in his shoulder..

"You too.. Marsh.." I said.. nervously.. I hated petnames.. they were weird..

"Not even a single 'babe' or 'baby'??.." Marshell said, pushing me off of him..

He pushed me off with a hard shove.. which almost made me fall off the bed..

"I-i.. I'm s..sorr-"

"No, you are not sorry, you are not forgiven either.. so be a good fucking slut and just do as I say, got it??" He said.. putting his hands all around me..

I tried.. I wanted.. I wanted to stop it.. but I couldn't.. it was scary.. so damn scary..

He kissed me forcefully.. and I hate to act like I enjoyed it.. even though I didn't enjoy one little bit..

He kissed my neck.. and I felt nothing.. no sparks.. not fluttering in my chest.. nothing.. it was just like he was licking my neck like a cat or something..

It was frustrating me to my core..

Why couldn't I like the things other girls did?.. why did I have to not like guys romantically..?? I hated it..

"Marshell.. can we stop?.."

The silence was loud.. too loud..

He didn't say anything and just continued..

"Marsh, I said stop-"

"You don't fucking tell me what to do, your body my choice, got it bitch?

I stayed quiet.. scared.. angry.. confused.. but.. I just froze.. and sat through everything..

Things like this happened almost everyday.. if not everyday, he takes a one day break and goes right back into it the next day..

It was frustrating.. so damn frustrating..

I didn't even like him.. so why did I have to deal with this?.. out of everyone why me.. what did I do so wrong in my life that this had to happen to me..

He never liked wearing protection.. so I had to take pills..

But one day.. I forgot.. and the next weeks.. were hell on earth..

I was only a nineteen.. and I was pregnant..

I was confused, scared.. so I went to Marshell for comfort.. but instead.. he hit me until my nose bled..