Warm Hands

I'd much rather spend the rest of my life drinking warm, gross champagne than go on this press tour.

The press tour itself is far from being my biggest problem. I'm excited about the whole traveling aspect of it and about the chance to talk to people and promote the movie, of course; being social and talking at length about my passions, especially to someone who genuinely wants to listen, is one of my favorite things to do.

I'm not looking forward to spending this much time around Matt. Filming the movie was one thing and, realistically, I know I shouldn't be dreading the press tour this much. I knew what I was getting into when I got the role, and this is hardly my first rodeo. I knew what I was getting into when I found out Matt would be the male lead, and I knew what he was like.

I didn't know just how insufferable he'd be, even though I heard all the horror stories. Every interaction I have with him makes me feel like I'm fighting for my life, like I can never get a second to breathe without feeling like I'm about to burst a blood vessel in my eye.

I can deal with plane rides, jumping from hotel to hotel, and answering uncomfortable questions. I'm media trained and know exactly what's at stake, which motivates me even more to not screw things up. If I dodge anything related to Oakley, it only leaves more room for speculation about Matt and me, as I've witnessed people online suggest there's something going on between us simply because I'm a vengeful ex.

Ew, ew, triple ew.

I know my place. I know my role in all of this—I'm here to prove to everyone I deserve to be a star, to receive the accolades, and to be treated with respect. I'm here to prove to people I'm more than just a pretty face. I'm here to show them all I'm so much more than Oakley's dumb ex-girlfriend and that every rumor spread by my exes regarding my lack of mental stability is exactly that—a nasty, mean-spirited rumor.

Most importantly, I have to ensure Absolutely! receives the appreciation it deserves and to make people flock to theaters upon release. This is bigger than just me.

This is also bigger than Matt Crain and his dumb ego. Whatever he feels about me will have to be put on hold during the press tour so we can at least pretend to tolerate each other instead of ruining the movie's reputation—and our own.

Well, mine. I don't care about his reputation. I've heard all about it—difficult, not a team player, arrogant, a womanizer. Goes through women like macarons. I'm not going to become one of his conquests, pretty enough to hang from his arm like a charm, only to be tossed aside and ignored once he has no use for me anymore.

Oakley did that to me. I've promised myself I'll never land in that situation again.

The problem is that both of them have gotten under my skin, buried deep within my bones, and for different reasons.

Oakley didn't just break my heart; he broke my soul, my spirit, and my self-esteem just because he could. No good reason, no. He knew he had the power. He knew he cared less. Even if he hadn't done everything he did following the breakup—the intimidation, the slander in his songs—he still cheated on me. On repeat. Somehow, I'm the bad guy here for being 'too clingy' and 'too emotional'. I'm the bad guy for loving and trusting.