The kill was quick and easy. But what took much more time and effort was fabricating it to be either an accident or a suicide or the doing of someone else who had an obvious motive. It was too technical for Dax but Vishnu carried his weight in the operation, simplifying it for him. He taught him the tricks and tact that Dax swore he'd never use after this assignment because they were cruel and demeaning. One thing that Dax realised he was good at was replicating handwriting and forging signatures. In a month, he had created eleven suicide notes and none of them had risen an ounce of suspicion.
They had just finished cleaning up the murder of a highly paid divorce lawyer's assistant. Dax couldn't help but wonder what dirty secret the young man had found about some bigshot that had landed him this unfair fate. An extra marital affair? A witness for the sexual harassment of an employee? It took a lot from him, fabricating the man's death as an escape from his dwindling financial status and the unpaid loans that he had inherited from his father. Tie it up with his boss threatening to fire him for suggesting an alternate perspective to a case and it made a strong motive for suicide. No one would suspect a thing.
Dax tried not to think about it and brushed it off just like he'd trained to do but he had accidentally gotten too involved in this case. It haunted him. Usually, the people he'd killed visited him in his nightmares, stripping his nights off sleep. But now they've been haunting his days too. The cracks in his heart were deep and they were getting deeper by the day. He knew he was breaking. He had tried to wrap the shattering pieces in a tight brace, keeping them together but it wasn't working.
Dax kept thinking of Sana, holding her, tugging the pretty bow from her hair and having her swat his hand away, inhaling the smell of caramel and berries that felt like home and licking salt off her skin. Not being able to do so tore open a gaping hole in his strength, leaving room for nothing but vulnerability. He missed her too damn much.
Vishnu blew out a puff of grey smoke. "Thinking of your woman?" he asked.
Dax raised his eyebrow, trying not to show his surprise. "You know?"
"Know that you have one or know that you're thinking of her now?"
"Both."
Vishnu took another drag out of his cigarette. "You don't hide it as well as you think you do. You get a look when you're thinking of her and it usually is inescapable after a kill. You worried about what she'll think about you getting your hands bloody?"
"She knows."
"That doesn't make it better, does it?"
That made Dax glance up at him. Did Vishnu have someone he cares about? Dax used to think all he had was the gang after seeing him so involved in it.
Vishnu put out the cigarette and stomped it down in the balcony. "I had someone," he said. "So I know what you're going through. Not everyone leaves this fate in one piece, Dax. Don't underestimate the claws Raju anna has on all of us. It's safer to give in than run against it. I can only tell you that much."
"What happened to her?"
"Got in an accident. Had to put her off oxygen support because she wouldn't get better even after 6 months." Vishnu had a far-away look as he stared at the sky.
"I'm sorry, man."
"I'm sorry, too."
With that, he clapped Dax's shoulders once and walked into his room.
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