Raspberry Ripple

Dax didn't know if he was allowed to attend the funeral.

Remorse, shame and guilt took turns haunting him, peeling away the layers of his remaining soul in a painfully slow manner. He took up a corner in the funeral hall as he watched the employees of the factory turn up one by one in a queue to pay their respects. A group of them bought a big garland that was already falling apart before they draped it over the luxurious ice box where the corpse remained. Next to the box, the closest family sat. Sisters, cousins and nephews. People who knew him dearly and those who'd miss his boisterous laughter and his generosity. A couple children ran about in the hall, too young to feel the gaping hole that a person's demise left behind in others' hearts.

Mayil carried a tray of steaming tea and when she spotted him, she came over to offer him some. "Why are you standing? Don't be a stranger. Take a seat," she said kindly. Dax felt sick.

He forced a smile and politely refused the tea.

Dax stood there for a few minutes, feeling worse when he heard the woman who just reached the venue wailing. Oh God. He caught his chest and turned to move away but an arm wrapped around his waist, stopping him in his tracks. Faint wisps of caramel floated his way.

"Where are you going?" Sana asked. She wore no makeup and her skin seemed dull. There were dark half moons under her eyes and she looked tired. No, Exhausted was the better word.

Dax wrapped an arm around her shoulder to allow her to lean onto him. "Nowhere," he said. She let her body sag against him. If she was drawing physical strength from him, he was drawing from her emotionally. Sana was his anchor. She was his fuel. It was her who kept him going.

An old woman came towards them. "I'm so shocked. How did it happen, dear?" she asked.

Sana gave her a slow nod. "It was heart attack. No one saw it coming," she said. "Would you like to sit, Ma'am?"

The woman nodded and Sana guided her to a seat. She was well acquainted with most employees and family who had gathered and Dax couldn't help but wonder how she felt about the situation. She was lying to so many of them on their face and facing so much guilt.

"Let's sit," she said when she returned, taking them to the nearest stairwell. They sat on the fourth step and Sana leaned her head on his shoulders, closing her eyes. "What are you thinking?" she asked him, finding his hand.

"Are we selfish?"

"We are," she said. "But that's okay. I'll make sure we live happily."

"Can we really move past this, red?" Dax asked, his voice shaking. It was one thing murdering people he didn't know or was familiar with. But this... this was atrocious. And to think he had dragged Sana into this and made her sin... it was poisoning his mind. He could still remember how the murder she'd committed when she was young made her tremble and shiver. She spent her whole life believing she had a dark side to her. Now, she had let that dark side take over.

For their future.

Dax couldn't help but wonder if it would be worth it.

"We can. If there's one thing I know about us, it's that we are resilient people. We wouldn't be able to forget it but we can also not let it affect us," she whispered, her eyes closed. "We are there for each other. That's all I need to keep going."

"How are you so strong?"

"Because you're the only thing on my mind. I chose you and I stay by my choice."

"So, it's stubbornness and ego that keeps you by my side?" he couldn't help but ask. He couldn't understand where she was drawing this determination and optimism from.