"Cover your ears" Titli repeated her words. But Agastya was confused.
"If I am covering my ears, then HOW WILL I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING?" Agastya almost shouted in frustration. He can't get enough of her. For him, Titli is irritating and cute at...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"do you want to eat something?"
I shook my head in 'no' before heading to my room. I could hear my tummy growling for food but denied to eat. The appetite was lost somewhere. I didn't want to eat.
Entering in my room, i locked myself there. Throwing my bag on the bed, I just laid there like a lifeless body. My face was buried in the pillow for sometime. Didn't utter any sound for sometime. I was only breathing normally, slowly. But a war was obviously happening inside of my head. Because the last incident that happened to me, was not quite nice.
I was closing my eyes and could only see his face. Agastya's angry face. He feared me alot today. No matter how much I try i still can't forget his disturbed face. Then those words
'tumse kya?'
'Padhne ka man kare toh padhna warna jo marzi karna...oh haa...why am I still asking? You did not ask for anything from me'
They were rude. How can he say that?
A tear rolled out of my eyes. I could recall my own words too. 'Mat do tum mujhe apna time. Maine nhi manga tha'
I was rude too. I am bad too. More tears came out, wetting my pillow cover. I want to talk to him, call him and talk to him.
Why did he leave me in the library like that way? Won't he ever talk to me? Is our friendship gone now? Again....again I'm alone.... again i lose someone. Again i made someone hate me. Again...
Like they all told me. Again.
I sobbed holding my pillow tightly. Thesedays only Agastya was the only person whom i could call my comfort. I could run to him at anytime, at any moment. But... now he is a stranger too. I didn't want to lose anyone else. Not him. Not Agastya.
The more i was thinking, the louder and intense my sobs became.
I was scared that I will start feeling breathless again. I'm scared of crying because whenever i cry, that terror happens. That brutal thing. I cry for air.
And I can't even say how much it scares me. The fear of dying settles inside... I don't want that again. But my chest was already hurting a lot. Maybe I could feel what was going to happen to me if I didn't stop now. But my chest was already paining alot. Maybe I could feel what was going to happen to me if i didn't stop now. i forced my tears to stop and sit down. Palming my chest, i started to rub it and mumble to myself,
"It's okay. It's all okay. You are okay Titli. You are okay. Titli. All okay. "
I mumbled those words to myself for sometime. Now i was breathing properly. Still that war of thoughts was going in my head but atleast I was not getting breathless.
With my shaky hands I took my phone and unlocked it. Should I open WhatsApp?
Shayad agastya ne kuch bheja ho? Nhi vejega kya? Kya pata kuch message karde? Maybe Agastya has sent something? Won't he send anything? What if he messages something? Like sorry or something?
