Give 'Us' A Chance

CHAPTER 22

"Muffin?"

"Mhm."

"Bu my name is Lily."

"I know."

"Then?"

"It's just you love muffin so much, and you are very cute, so I gave you a nickname, muffin. Did you like it?" 

"Yes! I loved it." 

They kept on talking, but I couldn't concentrate on it. I was just staring at them while they were talking. Lily has always been a talkative and friendly person. Wherever she goes, she makes sure to make number of friends before leaving that place. I like that about her, to always engage with people but this side of her mostly scare me a lot. The more you are in eyes of number of people the more this world gets dangerous for you. Of course, she is just a kid but her personality to even engage elders with her scares me. A lot.

When it was finally the time for her to start school, I still remember how scared I was. I was scared because doesn't matter how much I ignore the fact that her sperm donor is not with her, she will have to face this question until she gets old enough to understand why her sperm donor isn't with her. She asked me the very first day after school, "mom, where is my dad?" I practised this answer from the day she was born but when in reality she asked me the question I couldn't answer her properly. It was "your dad is far away, but he will come." And with that I ended the conversation.

 My thoughts were interrupted by the giggles. I looked at them and saw she was in his arms. He whispered something and she burst out laughing. I looked closely at him and saw him looking at her with soft eyes and smile. I don't understand anything here. I don't want her to get attached to him not even anyone. Who knows what's behind that soft smile. A charming smile always cloaks deceitful intentions. This thought always suck my soul out because that's what happened to me, and I don't want the same for her. I was about to snatch her from his arms but stopped because......because....

She is looking happy. 

My heart clenched tightly. Sometimes, I hate myself so much because I am the reason she doesn't have a perfect family, a dad. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples and sighed.

"Miss, Knights?"

My eyes snapped open and saw him with Lily in his arms standing in front of me. 

"Are you ok?"

No.

I couldn't say it, I just stared at him and then my daughter. My eyes were moving back and forth. His eyes were showing concern while her eyes were confused.  I slightly parted my lips to speak but couldn't. "Mom?" 

I cleared my throat and averted my eyes and took deep breaths. 

They both were talking and laughing like- I gulped. Like, they......
 No, no. Bullshit. Total asshole thought. I shook my head and clearing my throat I moved towards kitchen. "So," They both looked at me "what do you want to have for lunch Lily?"

"I....uh..." I looked at him, "I already made lunch, I told you right." I looked around the counter only to see soup, salad, and veg alfredo. Oh, so this is from where the aroma came. "Ah, that's sweet of you." I mumbled. 

Fine, I don't want to take his kindness in wrong way, but who does this much for their boss, for someone who clearly mentions to separate your personal and professional boundaries. Even, if he is showing kindness, he could have ordered something or maybe just cooked one dish. But, no. Not only he cooked, but he also cleaned my house too. I looked around to see all clothes neatly folded, all things at its place even in kitchen except the utensils in which food is stored everything is cleaned. I sighed. What do I do now? How to pay him back for his kindness? What does he want in return for all this?