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chapter: my only friend

Its weird, its wrong, its painful. I dont know what to choose. I dont wanna despise them, but i also dont want to like them aswell. Its like a choice with both having bad outcome.

My breath quicken as my heart thumped bit more faster, as i started to feel numb and dizzy.. i just wanted to have a peaceful time.. but it seems fate decided it doesnt want me too.

"Why is this all happening to me?.."

I spoke soflty, as the whisper continue to grow louder.. but for a moment, i felt like everything is just.. distorted. I felt the tears flow and sprang out of my eyes for the 2763 time this week.

"Is this my punishment?.. for killing people? A bird? Anything?.."

I spoke to myself, as the voices spoke loudly that i was correct.. and that everything is happening because of my bad decision. I dont want to have this kind of punishment.. but i felt like i deserve it. The dam finally break..

loud and broken sobs rang through the rooms as i continue to sob onto my knees, making my shirt and short stained by tears.. and also the bedsheets. Its really is my fault.

I continue to sob as i was literally shaking by the strong cries came out of my mouth and eyes.. as my hands grip tighter to my hair and my body, as some point i felt the hands digged into my skin, making me in quite hurtful.. as i continue to sob violently.. as the only i can hear is my loud ass cries as the voices seem to quiet down.. pleased by my breakdown.

I tried to close my eyes, calming my self down as the tears continue to flow like a waterfall as my sob turn into sniffles and hiccups.. i dont want do to this anymore..

-

As i open my eyes, still calming down as sniffles and hiccups fnally stop, resulting my eyes very glossy and kinda red.. i looked around to see.. yet again. The white void. Not again..

Seems like the universe really doesnt want me to have atleast a break, i wealy stand up. As i looked at the four orbs that represents my emotions as a familiar red drawn entity stand in the center.. almost like it was waiting for me.

"H eLl o player."

The thing spoke as it turn it body now directly looking at me, as i was prepared for an oncoming attack.. but it continue to speak.. making me question my friends, myself or everything once again.

"Y oU he A rd wH a t tH e voI ce s hAd sa I d. ."

"Y Ou r FRIENDS. h Ad lEf t Yo u! Fu Nn y iSn t?."

The thing spoke.. is it mocking me or legit saying the truth, meh.. i dont even know anymore at this point. But a lightbulb flickered in my head.. the voices and the emotions had told me the same thing.. they had left me.. but it seems like i dont know what to do with this information.

"A nD l oO k. . We r E sT i LL hE re. . Un L i Ke tH o Se "FRIENDS." th A t yO u hA ve. ."

The thing spoke.. trying to imply something.. ok what is it planning now? Is it using my friends as a advantage for possible manipulation or guilt trip or something..

"Because your MY emotions.. of course you cant leave anywhere around me. And besides.. my FRIENDS is much more better than your ass."

I spoke for once looking at the thing, as it chuckled almost dearly as it lend out a hand once again.. tilting its head to the side as it spoke omce again.

"Mu c H mO re bE tTe R tH a N mE?. . TH e y hA d Le Ft y O u mY dE a R pL a Ye R. ."

"Can you stop trying to change the subject!? Of course theyre better than YOU. YOUR LITERAL PURPOSE IS BRING HATRED AND CHAOS!"

"Ye t. . Yo U r FRIENDS. h Ad a Ls O bR i nG pA i N , t Or mEn T , a Nd mO re Im Por Ta n T. TH e Y h Ad bR in G sA d Ne SS tO y Ou."

"I—"

"D O nt tR y tO dE F e Nd tH e M  m Y de Ar pl A yEr. W E kN o W iT s tR u e. ."

The hatred spoke, making me more and more conflicted.. i mean it was right i guess.. but they also bring me happiness and joy.. and content.. but.. look what happened now.

Are they really my friends after everything they have done to me? I felt conflicted.. i still care for them.. but do they care for me back? Likely?.. unlikely?.. christ why cant i just choose something..

"W E re Y o Ur tR u E fR i EnD s. . ME a Nd tH e vO i CeS. ."

I blinked a few times.. i mean.. theyre correct.. right? They have never left me, abandon me, never really stab me in the back because of my mental health.. theyre.. theyre always be with me since the start..

Ofcourse, theyre still pain in the ass who legit torment me for weeks or months now.. but.. they said its for entertainment right? They never really meant it right? Theyre just joking..

"Y—.. your not.. going to leave me right?.."

I spoke soflty as it continue to lend out its hand, i hesitantly stepped foward as the red entity spoke in a manner of calm yet tingeof affection..

"O f cOu Rs E. . W Er E fr Ie nDs aF tE r al L. . Right?. ."

The entity spoke softly as its tail sway back and forth, i look at the red hand as i put my hand into the red entity claws.. as i shaked it.. feeling.. content? Happy? Finally.. safe?

"B U t. . I f Y oU r Ea Ll y wA n T u S tO sT a Y fR I eN ds. ."

The thing chuckled somewhat a tinge or malicious behind those soft, calm and also kinda affectionate tone.. as it spoke once more.

"U Se tH e sW oR d S T o Ki L l them."

The thing spoke as my vision went black.

-

I again pry my eyes open.. in my original position curling up to a ball and my head in the top of my knees.. as the sentence rang through my ears..

If its that what it want.. then ill do it. Its my F R I E N D after all right?.. i sighed softly and let my hand onto my hair loosen as i ran the hand along the hair as i spoke.

"Ill do it. Thats what friends are for."

~☆~

Ooo hatred finally manipulate player for the 2763 time!! ^_^

Anyways! Hope you enjoy this chapter people! >_0

Hope you all have a great day/night!!

And goodbye! ^0^

3/23/25