Breaking the ice

Jaxon

The ice was cold beneath my skates, but my muscles burned with every stride. Hockey practice was intense today. Our coach was pushing us harder than usual, drilling us with fast-paced drills and perfecting our plays. My body was used to the exhaustion by now, but there was a mental fatigue that came with the grind, too. My mind was everywhere, though, not entirely focused on the puck or the drills.

I couldn't stop thinking about Grace.

It was hard not to. She'd been on my mind since the moment I left her dorm this morning. The way she'd looked at me last night, the way she'd opened up about everything, about her nightmares. I hadn't expected that kiss to have the effect it did—hell, I hadn't planned it at all—but the way it helped calm her, helped her breathe again... it felt like something shifted between us. Something I didn't know how to fully explain.

"Hey, man, you good?" Nate's voice broke through my thoughts as he skated up beside me during a quick break. He was always good at reading me—could tell when something was off with just a glance.

I pushed the thoughts of Grace aside for a second and shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Yeah, just tired. Practice is kicking my ass today."

Nate raised an eyebrow, obviously not buying it. "You sure? You've been a little off today. Kinda spaced out, even for you."

I rolled my eyes, chuckling despite myself. "I'm fine, dude. Just got a lot on my mind." I picked up my water bottle, trying to stay vague. But Nate wasn't having it.

"Ahh, I know that look," he said, crossing his arms as we both stood by the boards. "Something's going on. You've got that... 'I'm thinking about a girl' vibe."

I raised my hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay, fine. I'll admit it. I've been thinking about Grace."

Nate grinned. "Grace, huh? The girl you've been trying to make lose a bet for weeks?" His tone was playful, but I could see the curiosity in his eyes.

"Yeah, her," I said, a smirk tugging at the corners of my lips. "And before you say anything, I know what you're thinking—'Jaxon doesn't do relationships,' right?"

Nate chuckled, but there was something in his tone that suggested he was serious. "Well, yeah, you're not exactly the 'commitment' type. But this is different, huh? I can tell."

I ran a hand through my hair, the weight of the truth hitting me harder than I'd expected. "It is different. I don't know why, but it is. She's... she's not like anyone I've ever been around. I mean, yeah, we made that stupid bet, and I was just messing with her at first, but now... now I can't stop thinking about her. It's driving me crazy, man."

Nate leaned in, eyes narrowed in that way he always did when he knew something was up. "So, what happened last night? You've been off ever since you left her dorm."

I hesitated, unsure how much I wanted to say. But it was Nate, and he was my best friend. I trusted him with this.

"I kissed her," I said quietly, watching for Nate's reaction.

His eyes widened, and he immediately leaned back, looking like I'd just told him I'd scored a goal on a breakaway without even trying. "You what?"

I nodded. "Yeah. She had a bad nightmare and she was freaking out. I just... kissed her. I didn't really think about it, but it helped her calm down. I don't know, man. It felt... right. I mean, I know it was a weird thing to do, but it worked. I don't know what to think."

Nate's expression softened, and he clapped me on the back. "Dude, you're in it now. That's not something you do unless you feel something more."

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "I know. I've been trying to figure it out all day. I don't want to complicate things, but it's hard to ignore the way I feel when I'm around her. I've never really been this... vulnerable with anyone, you know?"

Nate gave me a knowing look. "Yeah, I know. But you've got to be careful, Jax. This isn't a game anymore. You're dealing with someone who's been through a lot. She's not just gonna fall for you the way other girls have. If you're serious, you can't just play it like you're messing around. You've got to show her you're in it for real."

I let out a breath. "I know, Nate. I'm not trying to play games. I just... I don't know how to navigate all this. I'm not used to being the guy who makes things work with someone. I'm used to... I don't know, not caring."

Nate's expression shifted to something a little more serious. "That's the thing, though. You care about her, man. And you can't fake that. So if you're all in, you need to be all in. Don't hold back."

I looked at him, feeling a knot in my stomach. "I don't know if I'm ready for all of that, though. I've been doing fine on my own. I don't need to add anyone else's baggage to my life, you know?"

Nate shrugged. "But maybe you're wrong about that. Maybe she's not baggage. Maybe she's what you've needed all along. But it's on you, man. You have to decide if you're in it for real."

The weight of his words settled over me, and I didn't say anything for a moment. All I could think about was Grace—the way she looked at me, the way she trusted me with her vulnerability. It wasn't just some fling. It was something more, something I hadn't been expecting. She was a storm I never saw coming, and somehow, I didn't mind drowning.

"Thanks, man," I said, finally meeting Nate's eyes. "I needed to hear that."

"No problem," he said with a grin. "Now let's get back to practice before Coach kills us."

I nodded, pushing the thoughts of Grace aside for the moment, but I couldn't shake the feeling that things with her were changing. And maybe, just maybe, I was ready to let them.

But first, I had to figure out what the hell I was doing.