Flight Traces

Perhaps realizing his tone had been too harsh, Bian Ji touched his nose and sat back down, amending, "What I mean is, right now... it's not the right time for us to live together."

Yan Ankuo was clearly startled by the abruptness of the refusal, leaning back before slowly leaning forward again once Bian Ji had settled back into his seat. Gripping the table with both hands, he asked, "To what extent do you think we need to prepare for it to be the right time?"

Bian Ji still couldn't meet Yan Ankuo's eyes. "I don't know." Seeing the lawyer's debate instincts stirring, Bian Ji raised his hand to calm them, "Just not now. And I also feel that living together won't solve our problems."

Yan Ankuo narrowed his eyes, his slight myopia making it hard to read Bian Ji's expression. "Our problems?"

Bian Ji, having been taken aback by Yan Ankuo's sudden proposal, was grasping at straws for reasons to refuse. His thoughts weren't running clearly: "We spend little time together, we have different views, different circles... living together won't solve these issues; it might even exacerbate them."

The word "problems" came out in short bursts, each additional syllable darkening Yan Ankuo's expression. He gazed intently at the other, after a long moment, asking, "So, you think there are so many problems between us."

In truth, Yan Ankuo had anticipated these very issues before they got together, which was why he'd sought out Bian Ji to discuss the puzzle theory, trying to cool him off. Unexpectedly, not only did Bian Ji not back away from the challenge, he declared he wanted to pursue Yan Ankuo, leaving the rational Yan Ankuo no choice but to surrender to such an onslaught.

Unfortunately, they hadn't reached a unified answer to the puzzle Yan Ankuo had posed, because philosopher Bian Ji believed that any deep disagreement would eventually manifest as a surface-level problem, thus they only needed to resolve each superficial issue as it arose to gradually reach the core.

The previous few times, they had managed quite well, like making time to visit each other's cities or attending parties together, all results of mutual compromise.

But Bian Ji didn't expect the challenges to come so swiftly. The idea of living together, much like the drastic change in his youth, didn't allow for a period of desensitization.

Debater Yan Ankuo himself was equally inept, abandoning reason solely due to Mr. Bian's pursuit, taking things step by step. Now that problems had arisen – not just a few – Yan Ankuo found himself uncharacteristically without Plan A, B, or C, passively admitting, "I don't have a good solution."

Bian Ji gripped the wine glass with both hands, quickly releasing it, repeating the action twice before saying, "Neither do I. Perhaps... it's unsolvable?"

Regarding the derailment of everything, Yan Ankuo felt self-blame and anguish, but no regret. Leaning against the chair, he asked quietly, "Then what do you suggest?" Bian Ji remained silent.

Yan Ankuo closed his eyes, taking a shuddering deep breath, preparing himself mentally before asking, "If it wasn't me, would everything be solved?"

"Bian Ji," Yan Ankuo immediately denied, his expression serious, baffled as to how he could ask such a question, "You know I've never thought that way!"

Relieved by the negative response, Yan Ankuo finally exhaled, his clenched fists loosening.

"Forget it, let's not talk about this anymore." To steer the conversation away from a dead end, Yan Ankuo pushed the soup he loved toward him, "Tomorrow, you said you had something to do, where are you going?"

Bian Ji hadn't expected him to drop the topic so quickly, considering they hadn't reached a consensus, and Bian Ji's plans for tomorrow ran counter to Yan Ankuo's invitation. He hesitated before speaking, "Do you remember, I've been looking at houses?"

Yan Ankuo had an indescribable premonition, his brows furrowing tighter, giving a soft "Hmm."

"There's a house with a good layout and location, recently the price has plummeted, I plan to... talk to the landlord tomorrow," Bian Ji tried to keep it brief.

Yan Ankuo was amused in anger, "You're going to negotiate prices tomorrow, and you're only telling me today?"

"No," Bian Ji hastily explained, "I've had my eye on this for a while, I mentioned it to you before."

Bian Ji had indeed brought it up several times. At the time, their relationship wasn't yet established, and they discussed the trend of the Shanghai real estate market. Later, with their busy schedules, Yan Ankuo forgot about it, never expecting Bian Ji to want to live separately.

Yan Ankuo took a bite of his food, hoping it would suppress the unease and anxiety in his heart.

"You just said living together won't solve our problems," Yan Ankuo looked straight at him, presenting an irrefutable logic, "So buying a house in Baoshan will solve it?"

Bian Ji couldn't escape his logical circle, but had his own emotional reasons for doing so: "No, but I still want to buy it."

From his rare, vulnerable tone, Yan Ankuo could vaguely guess that it was likely related to the youth life he'd mentioned.

But Yan Ankuo wasn't a saint, the feeling of constant concealment wasn't pleasant, so his words became curt, "Bian Ji, have you never planned to live with me?"

Bian Ji quickly rebutted, "No, I just... am not accustomed to it yet."

Yan Ankuo was perplexed. "Don't plan to get used to it either?"

Bian Ji struggled to defend himself, "I'm already 'planning' to. Before, when you asked me to meet your friends, your family, I did meet them. These aren't things I'm accustomed to."

Yan Ankuo leaned his hands on the table, his voice lowering. "Were all those things very difficult for you?"

Bian Ji was silent, shaking his head slowly after a few seconds.

The hesitation was enough for Yan Ankuo to read the uncertainty. Taking a deep breath, he said, "You can spend your money however you want, so I won't analyze the irrationality of investing in property in Baoshan under current market conditions, nor the risk of homogenizing our asset allocation.

"You may have some fixation on private space for certain reasons, so I won't force you to change for me, but you owe me the explanation of why.

"Otherwise, just throwing out 'not ready,' I don't know how to help you 'prepare.'"

Yan Ankuo had previously admitted to having some occupational quirks, and that wasn't false. When faced with disagreements, he wanted to resolve them like in a court debate, which made intimate relationships seem considerably colder.

The tone during the argument was certainly less gentle than when they first met, and the more Bian Ji listened, the more aggrieved he felt. His eloquence could continue to shine, but he didn't want to. This meal was supposed to be warm and cozy, not ending in discord.

To ensure they could both maintain a decent mood tonight, Bian Ji stood up, calling a timely halt, "Let's leave it here for today, shall we? We both need to calm down, okay?"

When off-duty, Bian Ji favored light-colored clothing. His hoodie made his lean face appear younger. His eyes were misty, unlike the fiery chief steward he usually was, now filled with helplessness and fear.

He feared crossing boundaries, but more so, he feared Yan Ankuo leaving him.

Through the dim candlelight, Yan Ankuo seemed to glimpse a vulnerable, teenage Bian Ji. He had seen this Bian Ji before – on the Bund, the night their chaotic cohabitation began.

The high-winning-rate lawyer was suddenly at a loss.

Bian Ji held the cup tightly, the prominent joints turning white from the force, "I don't want to spend my birthday unhappy."