Belonging

The day of my grandfathers funeral passes by in a haze. By the time it's over and I'm on my bed, my hair still tied back in the half up, half down style Ivanna helped me put it in earlier I am exhausted, overwhelmed and two moments away from crying my eyes out for the hundredth time today.

Guilt fills me because I barely remember what my grandfathers coffin looked like when it was being lowered into the cold ground, surrounded by insects and worms and bugs and-

A knock brings me out of my thoughts. I snap my head over to the door. I don't respond, hoping whoever it is will just go away but instead the door opens and Ivan walks in.

"Anastasiya." He says. "There's some stuff to eat downstairs. We brought it home from the funeral. Why don't you come get something? You didn't eat at all today."

I shake my head.

"Do you want me to bring it up for you?"

"No thank you." I whisper.

"Okay." He says. "Just let me know if you get hungry, okay?"

"Okay." I whisper weakly. He leaves the room and I force myself to sit up. I change out of the black dress and into a pair of warm pyjamas. I rip the bobble from my hair and then collapse into the bed, this time burrowing myself beneath the thick covers. I hide under them, cloaking myself in a shroud of darkness.

BONUS POV
PETRO

I walk into my grandfathers house, locking the door behind me. A bag hangs loosely from my hands, swinging beside me as I walk up the stairs.

A nurse comes out to greet me. She smiles at me. "Mr. Melnyk, your grandfather is still stable. He should be awake within the week."

Relief pours over me like a dam being opened. "Great, thank you."

She nods and walks away. I open the door to my grandfathers bedroom, smiling when I see him instead of sporting my usual frown. I go over to the side of the bed and sit down in the armchair pulled up there, just as I have for the past few days at this exact same time. I set the bag on the floor, looking down at my phone when it buzzes with a notification.

IVAN: Is Anastasiya going to school on Monday?

ME: Yes.

IVAN: But she's still upset.

ME: She needs to show how upset she is so it's believable. The sooner she goes to school and does that the sooner this can all be over.

He leaves me on read, and I sigh as I look at my grandfather again.

ANASTASIYA

I rot in bed for what feels like millennia's. By the time Sunday night rolls around I want to implode.

I brush through my freshly washed hair, my eyes watering more and more with each rake through my long brown locks. When the door opens and Aleksander steps inside dread fills me. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to talk to any of them. It's already bad that I have to live here and endure hearing their low voices through the walls, why do they insist on talking to me too?

"Hey, sweetheart." He says, circling the bed and coming to stand behind me. He sets his large hands on my shoulders and I turn inwards on myself. He doesn't let go of me, only starts to rub one of his palms on shoulder in circles that aren't comforting. "How're you feeling?"