Choosing Me

Theo didn't move right away when the kiss ended. He kept his forehead gently pressed against mine, his hands resting lightly on my waist, like he wasn't sure if he should step back or stay right where he was.

I didn't move either.

The apartment felt still around us, filled only with the scent of cinnamon and the weight of something unspoken, something neither of us wanted to break just yet.

"Hungry?" he asked softly.

I nodded.

We moved quietly into the kitchen. He reheated slices of the galette, plating them with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream he'd left tucked in my freezer, because of course he had. I watched him move with the same quiet confidence he always carried~present but never overpowering. Like he was made to exist in the background of chaos and quietly make it better.

We ate on the couch, legs tangled beneath a shared blanket, the TV on low but forgotten. He didn't ask questions I wasn't ready to answer. I didn't pretend to have figured anything out. There was something beautiful in that~being seen, not for what I said, but for how I existed in the moment. Tired, soft, unguarded.

At some point, I rested my head on his shoulder. He didn't shift. Just let me lean.

"I missed hanging out with you," he said, almost too quietly for me to hear.

I turned my face into the fabric of his shirt. "Me too."

The hours slipped by. We didn't talk about anything. We didn't have to.

He stayed until just before midnight. No pressure. No expectations. Just a lingering kiss at the door, his hand cradling my cheek like I was something fragile he wasn't ready to let go of.

The next morning, I finally called Vee. It had been too long~weeks, maybe. Work, travel, life had gotten in the way. But the second she picked up, it was like no time had passed at all.

"Well, well, if it isn't the globe-trotting journalist," she teased, her voice as bright and familiar as sunshine through an open window.

"How's our baby mama doing?" I ask, grinning.

"Everything is peachy," she said dryly. "Which is code for; I would kill for a glass of wine and five minutes alone with my bladder."

I burst out laughing. "You always knew how to sell motherhood."

"You miss me."

"Desperately."

"When are you coming to Portland?"

"Soon," I promised. "But only if you make those lemon ricotta pancakes."

"Done," she said. "But I might make you change a diaper first."

We both laughed, the kind of laughter that came from knowing each other's lives inside and out, even the parts we didn't always say aloud.

"So," she said after a pause, voice dipping into that mischievous tone I knew too well. "Tell me. Anything interesting happening in your love life?"

I sighed, leaning back on the couch. "Well... I think I like my neighbor. His name is Theo."

"Ooh. Tell me more."

"He's attentive," I said slowly. "Kind, consistent, thoughtful. He listens. He shows up. All the things Jim never did, honestly. There's something easy about being around him. It feels... safe. But not boring, you know?"

"Safe is good, Stass. You deserve good."

There was a short silence, and then she asked, "And Alec?"

I closed my eyes for a beat. "Alec is complicated."

"Complicated how?"

"Complicated in the way that makes logic scream at you to run," I said with a tired laugh. "He plays games, one minute he's all-in, the next he's gone. And there's always a different woman on his arm in every tabloid or post. I can't~and I don't want to, compete with that."

Vee didn't say anything right away, which told me she was thinking. Carefully.

"I get it," she finally said. "You're choosing peace."

"I'm trying," I said. "But he sent flowers. Left a note asking for a second chance."

"Damn," she whispered.

"Yeah. But Theo baked me a pie and cleaned my apartment."

Vee laughed. "Okay. I think I'm team Theo now."

"Me too," I said, softer this time.

And for once, I meant it.

Sometimes it is better to choose "safe and peace", than to choose uncertainty.