To be, or not to be: That is the question-Band Of Brothers

Chapter 11-Agonies not yet left undone

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The apartment had fallen still, the only sounds the soft breathing of the others scattered around the room. They'd fallen asleep—everyone except for Kiran and Femi.

Kiran sat against the wall, her knees drawn close, her eyes cast down, unfocused, staring at the shadows creeping along the floor. She could hear the ticking of the clock somewhere in the distance, but it was distant, as though it did not belong to her world anymore. The weight of the day pressed down on her chest. It felt as though every breath was a struggle but still, her mind wouldn't let her rest. She couldn't. There was this gnawing feeling, something deep in her gut, telling her what she didn't want to hear.

Femi sat beside her, leaning against the kitchen table, her arms wrapped loosely around her knees. She wasn't crying anymore, but her face was still shadowed by something too heavy for words. She was quieter than usual, but Kiran had known her long enough to recognise when Femi was just holding things in, keeping the storm inside.

The room felt cold, even though the radiator hissed softly from the corner. Kiran shivered and hugged her knees tighter, trying to push back the thoughts that kept creeping in.

"Femi," Kiran began, her voice low, fragile. "Have you ever felt like... like the air is too thick, too heavy to breathe?"

Femi turned her head slightly, her eyes soft but searching. She did not respond immediately, but waited for Kiran to continue.

"It feels as though... as though it presses on you from all sides. I cannot find the air to breathe, no matter how I try."

Femi's gaze softened, her fingers tapping against the sleeve of her jacket. She knew that Kiran needed to speak, and she waited, her presence steady, unspoken support.

"Yes," Femi murmured after a moment. "I reckon it's what they'd call... drowning in air."

Kiran let out a bitter laugh, though it was strained. "Drowning in air. That is precisely it."

There was silence between them for a long moment. Kiran could feel the pull of the quiet, almost suffocating, but it wasn't uncomfortable—not with Femi there beside her. Just the sound of their breathing, it had always been comforting.

Kiran glanced at her, noticing how Femi's fingers gently twitched, tapping against her sleeve in a rhythm that Kiran had always thought of as Femi's way of grounding herself.

"I can't stop thinking about it," she said, her voice so quiet it felt like it might shatter if she spoke any louder. "I keep thinking... what if something happened? What if they're not—"

She couldn't finish the thought, the fear strangling her words. She didn't need to say it. It was already there, gnawing at her, creeping into her bones. The sickening feeling in her chest, the tightness in her throat—it was like she already knew. She could feel it deep in her soul, that sense that he wasn't coming back.

Femi didn't look at her, but Kiran saw the slight tension in her shoulders, the quiet sigh she let out. Her fingers moved a little faster, trying to avoid the same thing Kiran felt in her gut.

Femi's voice was soft, but there was something steady about it. "They'r strong," she said, her words slow and deliberate, as if she needed to believe them herself. "They ain't gone. Not yet. Not like this."

Kiran nodded, the tears that had been threatening to spill finally coming. She didn't wipe them away, didn't try to hide them. The room felt too heavy, the world outside too far away. There was only this—her and Femi, and the weight of everything that was breaking them slowly, piece by piece.