||Over And Over Again [CN]

chapter 11

"Ladybug can handle it, I'm sure! Plus, it won't take too long. I promise."

"... Fine.." Although reluctant, Adrien knew he can't restrict the kwami. Plagg wasn't one to sneak, and if he does, his holder knows that something important involving his species is up and urgent.

"Just.. Be quick, okay Plagg?"

"Alright, Adrien."

-----

The kwami flew like a freed bird from a cage, floating the skies of Paris above the lights that lit up the quiet streets of the city and to a building he'd never imagine he'll end up to.

It wasn't extravagant like his holder's, also not poor enough like the beggars he sometimes sees. The lights were on, indicating that she was still awake. He didn't know if that was a good thing, or a bad thing.

"Guardian of the holders."

And there she is, with all her glory and the glow of her miraculous stuck to her chest. The polite smile that she gives were now replaced with a tense, tight lip and furrow of her brows.

"Calm down, Guardian. I'm not here to hurt you, y'know. I just wanted to talk." He commented, with a voice that stated he didn't mean any harm.

"Did you tell Tikki and the other kwamis?" Was her reply, playing softly against the surface of the gem engraved on her despite the hardened glare she sent towards the tiny creature.

"No, look Guardian. I'm not upset about what happe-"

"You're not but others are! Especially Fluff! Do you know why I endured thousands of years avoiding you kwamis!?" She exclaimed, voice cracking as the bravery that masked her fear chipped away slowly.

The car ride earlier was the biggest regret she ever made, she overlooked the fact that he was cat noir and his kwami was always in him, anywhere in him. She should've known, she should've been careful.

She shouldn't have let her feelings sweep her logic away, and with a simple decision, the hardwork she's done millennias and millennias ago, gone. Because she entertained the idea of being with him for a few minutes more.

She felt it, the moment Plagg's tiny paws touched the skin of her stomach-the shocking electricity and the damaging ache on her chest that spread through her arms and lungs, causing her to flinch and excuse herself as soon as possible-stopping by at a random store with a series of questions from Adrien.

She couldn't breathe properly for a few minutes, and went home as soon as she can. The book laying upon her hands the moment the door opened, and yet again swallowed a big ball of regret when she remembered she erased herself from the memory of Wang Fu and Wayzz.

She couldn't do it again, not until a few decades.

"Fuck.." She slid down the floor, sobbing loudly as the small creature floated near her.

"It's not your fault, Guardian." Plagg murmured, his ears flattening as a sign of worry.

"You have no idea Plagg.. I hate this. I hate it. I hate everything, Plagg. Me, you, the kwamis, and the miraculouses. It ruined me." Her gentle eyes gazed towards him with rage, frustration, and guilt.

It was the eyes of a slave abused by the owner for years, unable to escape the chains that holds her back.

"Oh, Guardian. Don't cry, a lot of us have forgiven you, you know? It's okay, that was like.. A long, long time ago, anyway." He wasn't one to comfort, not at all. But dealing with a being that fucked the universe and the flow of it was important for him to do so.

"Shut up, shut up! You know nothing, kwami. Nothing! I erased myself to escape, get away from the likes of you, never to be recognized again!" She stood up, grabbing a furniture, tossing it to the floor out of frustration.

"And then.. That damn holder of yours. Adrien. You.." She grabbed him, wrapping her palm against his tiny body.

"You destroyed it. You destroyed everything I built. You really are the definition of destruction, aren't you!?" Through blurred vision did she release the hurting kwami, her wails loud with sorrow and pain-denial even, to what is happening.

The anger that was hidden behind the hollow politeness and kindess broke, revealing her sacrifices and conflicts that resulted with her painful melancholy surfacing for thousands and thousands of years.

"I was already in so much guilt! It didn't leave me alone, even though I ran away.. Fluff, she-she'd never forgive me. Not until the end of the universe!" She cried, her chest faintly glowing as it heaved up and down in sync with her sobs.

"The guardian, you say? It was me paying my debt! My sin! My punishment! Plagg, you don't know anything about what I've suffered!"

"And now, I can't recast the spell again. Fuck!" The rawness of her voice made him flinch, her complexion having tints of red from the tears that her emotional eyes created.

"I-I promise I won't tell anyone. Guardian, please don't cry.." He stuttered, landing his paws at her bent knees.

He wiped away the tears that was forming and gave her heated, wet cheek a comforting hug.

What he knew so suddenly, a puzzle now solved in his memory, wasn't a lighthearted information. It was buried stretching from the early times of humanity until present day, where the sin of the Guardian exposed itself and her punishment.

"You promise, Plagg?"

...

He looked at her with the softest gaze, sincerity filling it.

...

"I promise, Guardian."

. . .