ADDICTED - MATTHEO RIDDLE

I wake up, look around and realize we fell asleep.
It is dark outside except for the moon shining on his face and messy hair.
He looks so perfect.

"Mattheo" i whisper to see if he's awake
He sits up immediately and I laugh at him.
"You scared the shit out of me Isra."
"Back to last names? Thought we finally got along." I say playfully
He just groans and falls back onto the bed.
"What time is it?" He asks with a sleepy voice, that is so hot.
"4am"
"Let's go back to sleep then." He replies as he closes his eyes again.
"I'm going for a run actually." I answer, it would be good for me to clear my mind.
"No you're not." He says, suddenly awake
"What?" I say, very confused
"It is 4am Zi, you are not going on a run all by yourself."
"Then you'll have to join me." I reply, smiling as i get up to get my pink leggings with a matching sports bra.

I go to change in my bathroom as I hear Mattheo getting up and still sighing and groaning.
I'm not really a morning person but I do enjoy this moment.
"You ready? I say as I get out of the bathroom, my hair in a ponytail and my matching sports set on.
"Do we have to do this?" He asks
"Why not, we fell asleep around 6 yesterday so we had enough sleep Mattheo, might as well be productive today right?" I answer
He really doesn't want to go, but I know he isn't letting me go by myself at this hour.
"Can't we go in like a few hours?"
"We gave class in four, if we run for an hour we'll have enough time for breakfast, showers etcetera."
"Fine, but remind me to never sleep at yours again." He says "and maybe put on a sweater, it is freezing outside." He says as he looks me up and down with that smirk of his, I smile as I grab a hoodie and put it on.

This all feels weird, I know we opened up and had a really good talk yesterday but I don't know.
I guess I didn't expect all of this so suddenly.

"So Mattheo..." I start our conversation as we are running around the castle,
"Yes Ziana." He answers
"What is this?" I ask, not suggesting anything
"I don't know." He answers coldy again.

And we're back to being quiet and just running, this goes on for a while, but as we start walking because we almost reached the dorms again, he speaks up.
"I do not know whatever this is Ziana, but no one can know alright?" He says seriously, seeming off once again. "Not even Pansy, not Enzo, no one." He adds
"Sure" i answer calmy, hoping it will calm him down too.
"My father can not know I find you... interesting, he has to think it is just the mission."
"Is it?" I question him
"No Ziana, otherwise I wouldn't be on a run at 5 in the morning." He says and I just laugh at him.
"Just please don't ignore me or get cold with me again Mattheo." I say right before I enter my dorm.

I like him, I think... or at least I like his presence.
I mean he's hot, he's interesting, he cares, or at least I think he does, he gets me, he's intelligent he's really really hot.

When I'm with him the world doesn't seem so incredibly difficult, he makes it better, easier.
I am just scared to give my heart to someone all over again, just for them to walk straight over me, because I am afraid I will actually lose myself this time.

Maybe I should just enjoy this period of time, instead of overthinking every single moment I spend with him.

Maybe we are better of as friends, or even as strangers, but maybe being together will save the both of us, maybe it will strengthen us. Maybe this will be the person that can save me, maybe this is the life I've dreamt of.