Before The Whistle Blows

I watched her from across the training facility, my crutches propped against the wall as I waited for my physio appointment. Training was done and dusted but a few of the girls were hanging around like they often did. Rory was leaning near the locker room, chatting with Katie. They were laughing at something Katie had said, Rory's hand reached out and pushed Katie's shoulder in a teasing manner, that familiar crooked grin spreading across her face.

I hated that I noticed. The small touches, the little looks she gives, the laughs. And I hated that it made something twist in my stomach. She wasn't doing anything wrong. They were her teammates, her friends. I trained with them too. But watching her throw her head back in laughter, watching the easy way she moved around them, made something sharp and petty dig into my chest.

I looked away before I could spiral any further. Though I could still hear them and not seeing them just made my mind imagine what they were actually doing.

A few minutes later, Rory appeared beside me, holding out a bottle of water. "You okay? You look kind of off."

I took it with a nod. "I'm fine." I said through partly gritted teeth.

"Ankle?" she asked, her eyes scanning over me like she didn't quite believe me.

"Just tired," I said, keeping my voice even. I didn't do much to make me tired so it was a poor excuse. She didn't push. Just sat beside me, close enough that our arms brushed. Neither of us moved away.

"Physio said they'll be another ten minutes," I muttered.

Rory gave a small nod. "Alright. I'll wait." There was no expectation for her to wait. I didn't really want her to wait right now. She should go be with her new bestie Katie.

"You really don't have to."

She turned to me, her gaze steady. "I know." She wasn't biting at my bait. She was remaining calm or genuinely oblivious to the over spilling jealousy I was feeling. There was a calm in the way she said it. No fuss. No over-explaining. She just knew. And she stayed.

Later, after physio, I limped out front and spotted her by her car, leaned against the door, scrolling through her phone. She looked up immediately when she heard my crutches against the ground. "Ready to go?" I nodded, trying not to look too eager. Or too grateful.

In the car, she was quiet, letting the gentle hum of the radio fill the space. I watched her hands on the wheel, the way her fingers tapped against it in time with the music. At one point, she glanced at me, just for a second, and I swore something passed between us. But then she looked back at the road.

Back at her flat, I settled on the sofa while she went to the kitchen to grab us something to drink. She was on her phone again, laughing softly. "What's so funny?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

She smiled at the screen. "Nothing, just something Katie said." Then she flipped the phone face down on the counter.

A little heat bloomed low in my chest. "You two talk a lot."

Rory raised an eyebrow, grabbing two glasses. "We're mates." She said casually, but it didn't feel casual to me. I nodded but didn't respond. Rory's phone buzzed again. She glanced at it, then slipped it into her pocket. "I'm gonna take Bella out real quick," she said, reaching for the lead. "Be back in a bit." I watched the door close behind her, my mind immediately spiraling.

She didn't even say where she was going. Was she meeting Katie? Was that why she laughed like that? Why she kept checking her phone? Had they planned it at training and they were waiting for the right opportunity all night to meet up?

I slumped further into the cushions, irritation simmering beneath the surface. I hated how quickly jealousy snuck up on me. Beth warned me about this side of me sneaking out in Aussie. She predicted it. When I start getting feelings for someone it happens and it's hard for me to control sometimes. How it wrapped itself around perfectly normal things and made them feel like betrayals. But it was more than that. It was the fear of being replaced, overlooked again.

Jordan never stuck around after games. Never waited for physio to finish. If I got hurt, it was just an inconvenience to her. She barely looked up from her phone sometimes. I learned to manage alone. I was easily replaceable to Jordan, that was proved when she cheated on me. So Rory showing up like this, without question, without needing to be asked, it unsettled me. Because part of me wanted to believe it meant something.

By the time Rory returned, I'd built up a storm in my head. She stepped in, cheeks flushed from the cool air, Bella trotting in beside her. Bella went to her water bowl and took a long drink.

"Hey," she said, unbothered.

"Did Katie enjoy the walk too?" I asked before I could stop myself. I regretted it the second it felt my mouth.

She blinked at me, confused. "What?"

"You've been glued to your phone all night," I said, standing slowly, gripping the back of the sofa for support. "And then you suddenly need to walk Bella. Forgive me if I connect the dots." I snapped, not being able to control it. The jealousy was in the driver's seat.

Rory stared at me. "You think I was meeting Katie?"

I shrugged, crossing my arms even though it made me look defensive. "I don't know what to think."

She exhaled, setting her keys down gently. "Leah, I just walked Bella around the block. Katie texted me a meme. That's it." I stayed silent, my frustration starting to give way to embarrassment. I had no reason to mistrust her at all. Rory stepped closer. "You know, if something's bothering you, you can just talk to me. You don't have to" she gestured vaguely "Do whatever that was."

"I know," I muttered, looking away.

"Do you?" she asked gently.

I hesitated. "I just... I've never had someone show up the way you do. It messes with my head sometimes."

She softened, stepping into my space, close but not too close. "Then let me mess with your head in peace, yeah? But talk to me. You don't have to guess with me." I nodded, something small and raw flickering inside me.

"Okay."

"Okay," she echoed, reaching past me to scratch Bella behind the ears. "Now sit down before you fall over." I rolled my eyes but sat. As I lowered myself onto the cushions, Rory reached out instinctively to steady me, one hand brushing my waist. It was quick, automatic, but the contact made my breath catch. She passed me a drink and her fingers lingered for half a second longer than they needed to. Neither of us pulled away.

"I do notice, you know," she said after a moment.

"Notice what?" I asked.

"That you try to keep things in. Hold them together. Even when you're hurting."

I swallowed. "Old habit."

Rory nodded, eyes thoughtful. "Just so you know... I pay attention. And I'm not going anywhere." I let that settle in the air, warm and heavy and unfamiliar.

Later, when she moved around the flat to tidy up, her phone stayed face-down on the counter the entire time. She didn't check it once.

Bella curled up beside me on the sofa, her little head resting on my leg like she'd done it a hundred times before. I ran my fingers over her soft fur, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like I had to hold it all together on my own. Not with Rory. Not tonight.