Killua X Reader: Short Stories~

           

           I can't tell you how many times I've seen it: Seen her fall in love, get too attached and wound up heartbroken. I've seen her gain friends and lose them. I was there through it all; there to pick up the pieces whenever she was suffering. All of her problems circulated the same reason. She gave too much. 

           We had this routine: She would tell me about this issue she was having with someone, whether it be a friend, family member or love interest. She would tell me how she constantly tried her best to help them, to see the best in them, but that it was getting too hard for her to handle. I would tell her the same thing, "Sometimes, you have to put yourself before others. If you keep putting others before yourself, you'll soon fall apart too." But of course, she always ended up not listening and end up hurt. She would never put herself before someone else if it meant helping them, and making them happy; that's just how she is. It's what I love about her. She's always been so selfless, loving and kind-hearted, I sometimes feel unworthy to be so close with her.

          I remember how we met. I was horrible back then. I didn't let anyone into my world, I refused to. But she changed all of that. I had just escaped my family and was on the run. I didn't trust anyone who talked to me; anyone could be working for my parents in order to get me back, or make me pay for what I'd done. My paranoia didn't lessen when she came along. She approached me calmly, her eyes swimming with concern and curiosity. I probably looked dreadful, covered in dirt and tired from constantly being on the run and having not slept in a few days. Her voice was as soft as silk as she asked, "Are you alright? You look worn out." She stuck her hand out for me to shake, "Hi, I'm Y/n. I'd be happy to help you anyway I can." She smiled, but by the time she looked up to where I stood, I was gone. I thought I had lost her, but she was persistent. 

          Everyday I would find food, clothing, water, and other basic necessities, near where I was hiding. She would leave a note with just her name and something simple like, "I hope this will help." Or, "I thought you might need this." 

          One day I Found her and dropped everything she gave me to her feet and shouted, "I don't need your help! I can take care of myself!" She merely looked at me sadly and started re-bagging the stuff. Then she got up and handed them all back to me. I was furious, "Didn't you hear me?! I said I don't need you're charity!" 

         "This isn't charity. I gave this all to you because I know what it's like to be alone and I just wanted to help you, to become your friend..." She said as she  pushed the stuff into me hands. 

         "M-my friend? Why?" 

         "I don't know, you looked lonely and sad... And I've never had a frie-. Look, just forget it! I'm sorry for bothering you." She stuttered before turning to run off. 

         "W-wait!" I grabbed her wrist, stopping her in place, "I'm sorry, I've just... I've never had a friend before." I looked up to see her still facing away from me, but she didn't make any attempts to free herself, so I continued. "Can I still become your friend." 

         She turned around, her eyes were a slightly watery and she smiled, "I'd love to."

          But now we're here, in that same routine again. However this time, she was really falling apart. See she just went through a horrible breakup. She met this guy she thought for sure was the one. She gave him everything, she kindness, her love, her time, five whole years of it; it was all in vain though. He used her for all her worth: Spent all her money, ruined most of her friendships and broke her heart, by cheating on her with someone else. It was all eating away at her at a rapid pace. This guy, I hated him from the start. He was cocky, stubborn and constantly making fun of her. but, now that I think about it, I think it wasn't him that bothered me, but the fact that he was so much like me and she still picked him... I'll admit, these past few years with her, I've developed a strong attachment to Y/n, but whenever I came close to telling her, the universe just found ways to not make it happen. Now here I am, at the final step of our routine; She was crying her heart out to me over another person who hurt her. 

       If only she knew how much she meant to me, how I would never do anything like this to hurt her; I would never take advantage of her. If only she knew how much my heart breaks whenever I see guy after guy leave her heartbroken. If only these guys knew how lucky they were to receive the kind of love she gave them, the love I've been longing for years. But, she is too shattered to hear all of that, to fragile to take the weight of my confession on her hunched up shoulders. For now, all I can do is be there for her and pick up the shattered pieces of her heart once more, while mine remains scattered and forgotten. She's always there for everyone, someone's got to be there for her. I'll endure this a little longer, for her.

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           I just wanted to get this out there. It's wonderful to be selfless, it is. However, there is a limit to how selfless one can be before they're taking a toll on oneself. Trust me, I know; I've been there. You just have to remember to respect yourself. If your selflessness is leading to the point where you're completely forgetting yourself, your needs and feelings, then you need to take a step back. There's giving all that you can, and giving all of yourself. Knowing when to draw the line isn't being selfish, it's having self respect. 

           Sorry to go all deep and ish you guys. I just thought to get this advice out there to as many people as I can because if I had someone to tell me this a long time ago, it would've helped. I hope this helps at least one you you readers :)

~Callie