Change Is Yesterday.

EDITED~

ALEX'S P.O.V

"Alex! Wait up!" Throwing myself on the front steps of a closed down shop, I knew there was no point running anymore. I had to face up to Jack and myself.

Jack stopped, bending over with his hands on his knees, out of breath from running so far. Once he had his breath back, he came to sit next to me, his arm twitching, unsure whether or not to put it round me. At the possibility of comfort and someone that cared about me, the tears broke through my weak restraint, causing Jack's inward battle to resolve as he grabbed me and pulled me into a hug.

How long I sat there crying on Jack's shoulder, I had no idea. After a while he shook me, probably thinking I'd fallen asleep. I looked up into his big worried brown eyes, "Sorry for lying on you dude and like wetting your shirt.." With a sheepish expression on my face, I began to sit up and put my head in my hands.

"It's okay, what are lovers for eh?" I laughed, he never failed to cheer me up, that's why he was the best friend I'd ever had, apart from...well... Her.

"Sex." Chuckling at my own humour, I looked up to see Jack's expression of mock horror, which just set me off into full-blown laughter. Why was I laughing when my life had just seemingly crumbled down around me? I've lost her; for good. And I was sitting here, on the steps of some run-down building with wood covering the windows and doors, laughing.

"Hey now! Lets not go there again Gee..." He winked jokingly at me, I just rolled my eyes.

Sitting here goofing around with Jack, just reminded me of the days before me and Connie got together, when we were just best friends. Before things got complicated. We were joined at the hip, and I know it sounds cliché, but we did actually spend a month together; I stayed with her in England for two weeks and she then came over to America with me. And that was after we were kids, we practically lived together then. They were the best summers of my life. Then there were the months when I took her on tour, other band guys thought it was weird that she wasn't my girlfriend, but Jack and everyone didn't. They got how good friends we were, but I think they all knew something would happen. We were the whole world to each other, our days revolved around what the other was doing.

So when I left for America, I was lost. I'd only known her for two years, and I was so young, but I knew then that she was already the only person I wanted. It sounded crazy, but I'd found the person people spend their lives searching for, at the age of five. We lost contact for a few years, it just wasn't practical for a seven and a six year old to keep in touch through letters. I still talked about her, every person I met knew about her. I just couldn't help it. My parents got worried. They were worried I wasn't dealing with the move and the death of my brother. The psychologist came up with all sorts of psychobabble about how my obsession with Connie was my coping mechanism. But the truth is that I missed the only positive thing that had happened after my brother's death. I missed the best thing that's happened to me, even now.

That's why we moved. To have a new start, a get away. But the trouble for me was, Connie was my new start, she was my get away. Although I didn't quite understand what happened at the time - I still knew he wasn't around, and Connie made it better. Don't get me wrong, I didn't resent my parents for taking me away from Connie, they did what they needed to do. But I still, selfishly, can't help wishing we'd never moved at all.

Jack coughed to bring me out of my trance. What was I doing? I was turning into some old man, reminiscing on the 'good old days', when I could just get off my ass and do something about it. I could find her.

Turning to look at Jack for some sort of reassurance, I knew I wouldn't get it. She told me she didn't love me, that she never did. Did she fake everything? Maybe I was naive to think she'd ever really love me, that I was ever good enough for her. I'd always known I never was, but I thought it never mattered... This felt like torture, I didn't know what to think, I felt like my whole life with her was a lie, like it meant nothing.

"Wait.. You don't actually believe a word she said back there do you?" I turned to look at Jack's astounded expression. How could I not, was he crazy? Opening my mouth to speak, I couldn't seem to remember how, so I just nodded.

He jumped up, but I didn't even flinch. I'd had the biggest shock of my life today, nothing seemed surprising anymore. "Are you stupid?! She loves you! How can you not see that?! All she's doing is trying to push you away, you said it yourself, she does this. C'mon Gee, don't think for one second that she doesn't want you back. She's just..." He trailed off, aware I was no longer listening. I'd already started walking back the way we'd come.

"Gee, wait up! Where are you going?" He ran to catch up with me.

"Connie's flat." I couldn't explain why, I just felt like it was a place to start. Jack stayed silent, he knew my short answer meant I wasn't up for talking.

I'd started running, but stopping suddenly, I realised I didn't actually know where she lived. Judging by the confused expression on my face and then the disappointment that followed, Jack grabbed my hand and pulled me along. We ended up at a block of flats. I turned to face him, but before I could ask him, he said, "Connie's flat. Number 18."

That was all the encouragement I needed, I ran up the stairs to the first floor and ran to her apartment, Jack hot on my heels. Then all I could do was just stare at the door. Unable to think of anything to say when the door opened, not knowing who would even answer.

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing, glad of the delay, I looked at the caller ID - Rian. Why was he calling? I thought he was having a day off, just... Oh dear. We had a signing today. And it started an hour ago. I had to pick it up...

"Hi-

"Where the hell have you been?! Are you with Jack? I've been texting you for ages! Zack's been calling Jack since nine! What the hell man?!"

"Rian! I can't explain, I'm sorry. I'll apologise to the fans later, I have something I gotta do."

"It had better be fucking important Alex, the fans are real pissed. It was a disaster."

"It is Rian... I am sorry."

"Whatever Alex. I can't even-" He hung up.

Jack's face was horrified, "we missed a signing?! Fuck!" He took out his phone and looked at all the missed calls and texts from Zack. Then his face dropped and he slapped his forehead.

"What?"

"Our fans. They're real mad Alex."

"Are you on twitter? Jack! Don't go on now, I can't afford to feel worse than I already do."

"Oh sorry..." He put his phone back in his pocket and gestured to the door, encouraging me to knock. I nodded, took a deep breath and knocked.