I CAN'T SLEEP ?PHAN

Today was the day. Today was the day Phil was leaving to go to his parents house for Thanksgiving, leaving me all to myself. Now, for a normal person that might be cool and they'd be able to do what ever the fuck they wanted for two days but unfortunately for me, that wasn't the case.
That means for three entire nights I'd be alone to live in my hideous subconscious as I slept, that or I wouldn't be sleeping any time soon. It wouldn't be the first time I would deliberately starve myself from letting my head hit the pillow, I'd done it many times before and when I did, Phil would always notice. He'd notice how I couldn't sit in one place for too long, the night sky circles sitting under my eyes and my fidgety body language. It always felt strange too, after I got over the stage of horrible tiredness, I felt almost numb and floaty, how I would imagine being high would be like but with less intensity.
I couldn't let my stare leave Phil that day, as if if I looked away he'd leave too soon and I'd forget the curves of his body and the way he chewed his lip when he glanced over at me during breakfast, or how his hair stuck up in the most childish and adorable way, but at the same time daringly sexy. I didn't want him to leave, ever since he first let me sleep in his bed next to him, that was our routine. Phil would usually already be in bed by the time I joined him, his arm always landing to rest on my waist, but nothing more. It was comforting, it was a gesture just to say 'I'm here for you,' and it really was what I needed to survive the night and morning so that I didn't wake up screaming my throat out and tears leaking down my cheeks, soaking the covers.
"I'll see you in a bit, alright?" Phil held his suitcase he rarely pulled out from under his bed, the handle looking a bit rickety but he didn't seem to notice as it swayed in his grip. His body was halfway out the door way, his shoe tapping rhythmically on the wooden floor boards.
"Yeah," I looked down at my socked feet, peeking at him through my fringe almost shyly.
His hand met my cheek, leading my head to his for him to press a firm peck to my forehead, the kiss lasting longer than what would be classified as completely platonic.
I couldn't muster to say anything more, shock still dancing through my nerves, freezing my body in place. The imprint of his lips on my skin stayed with me for the rest of the day, and I assumed for the rest of the week. They were so soft, his lips, like fresh silk sheets or a butterfly tickling your skin.
For the rest of the day, I found it useless to just sit around, so I took it upon myself to run by the bank and grocery store, buying the essentials I'd need for the next few days since Phil usually does the shopping, but he just left.
I just hoped the next few days would go by like a few minutes, but avast, I was wrong.

A/N
it is 4:50 AM help