Mushoku No Sonzai 無色の存在 (Colorless Existence)

I wake up. Cold. The air was heavy. I stare at the morning sky as I desperately ask myself the same question ; How long have I been here?

Each breath I took felt heavy. Each second felt like hours. I was desperate.
I force myself to my feet and walk towards the door. As I had expected, it was locked. It's no use. My only hope of seeing the outside was a visit from anyone.

Visit me? But, who?...

I stare endlessly into the sky. It was so boring. I want to do something. Anything. I don't care if I scrub toilets. This boredom is driving me insane.

I could hear the echoes of the other patients in the hallway, the ambience of the building full of life. Were all these people really okay with staying here until they die?...
The steel door suddenly slides open. A woman in a white coat begins walking in. What could she want with me?
She meets my eyes for a moment, as she closes the steel door and leans against it. She's acting suspicious..

"Ah. Susumu. How are you feeling?"

What? Did she just call me by my name? Did she already know me? What is going on?...

I stare at her, and attempt to remember her. That long and silky black hair. Those strong green eyes.
I can't remember her at all.
She suddenly gives me an annoyed look.

"Do you not recognize me?"

"N-No...Well..."

"Well?"

I remain silent. She's right. I don't recognize her...

She seems to frown a bit.

"Well, I guess it's only natural you don't."

I look around the room, searching for anything to change the topic. I notice there isn't any clocks in the building.

"Say, do you happen to know the time?"

"Ah. That. It's around 11 am."

Ahaha..That was a stupid question. But it worked.

"I see..."

Silence fills the room. I stare around the room, waiting for her to say something.
It felt like 20 minutes had already passed by. But that's exaggerating it...

She lets out a soft sigh. Was she annoyed?

"S-So was there something I had to do...?"

She suddenly begins to mutter to herself.

"What...?"

She turns around and reaches into her backpack. Eh? Since when did she have that? I didn't notice it at all...
She slowly takes out a very strange looking book, as if she were exchanging drugs. Her arms extend to my face.

"Here."

Confused, I take the book and stare as she quickly gets ready to exit.

"You must be bored right? Take that. Maybe write about your life in it."

She heads to the door frantically.

"W-Wait!"

She stops, but she doesn't turn to me.

"No....well...Why did you give me this? Are you guys asking me to write about my past or---"

"Reclaim what you have lost, Susumu."

She interrupted me, and quickly walked away.

"W-Wait!"

Too late. The moment I asked her to wait, she had already shut the door behind her.

Why...do I feel...like she's familiar now...?

I was confused. What did she mean? Who was she...? Why would any of the staff tell me those things? Why did she even call me by my name? What is this book?

I stare at the book. A blue rose embedded to the side of the black coverings, and a strange iron lock with a red jewel glowing dimly. I wanted to open it. I felt curious. What would I see inside?

"Reclaim what you have lost, Susumu."

Reclaim what I have lost....
A sensation of sadness runs through my body. No. I don't want to open that book.

I grab the book and toss it inside my wooden drawer. For some reason, I felt...so strange around that book...

I sit on my bed, and stare at the ground, trying to remember everything that happened before today. The pain surging through my heart.
I can't remember a thing...
Yet, why does it hurt..?

But when I held that book in my hand, I felt...something.