Falling hard

Have you ever had a nightmare so bad you woke up sweating? Since I hurt my back I have a lot of those. They're normally about the always the same dream though. I fall asleep and I'm in this arena surrounded by thousands of people. I start to walk up to the podium in the middle and suddenly I cant walk anymore. I fall to the ground and everyone stares at me. I panic but no one comes to help me; I just lay frozen and in pain on the ground. Then finally everyone stands up in synch and exits the arena. And I'm left paralyzed on the dirty ground alone. But then I wake up and wipe the sweat from my face knowing it was just a dream.

Sometimes if I'm lucky though I'll have this dream where I'm floating on a cloud with my parents. It's all happy as we sit down drinking Jamba Juice. (Don't ask why because I honestly don't understand why either.) Then Emily comes and joins us as we float past all this amazing scenery and talk about happy things like strong wifi and long naps. Then I wake up in a good mood.

Last night I had the nightmare though so I woke up and wiped sweat from my face and grabbing a glass of water next to me. Teresa always leaves one out for me knowing about my nightmare. As My eyes adjusted to the light and I stretch my arms out I think to myself: Today will be a good day, not a sucky day. Normally when I tell myself that, the complete opposite happens though.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"So basically you have this thing called Syputonosis. It's a fancy word for stage 1 paralyzation. You back is giving up on you and is rejecting all treatment. But lucky for you its still stage 1. So if you rest like you have been and a miracle happens where the medicine works then you'll be able to walk again. But for know you should only ever put weight on your feet to get into your wheelchair."

My parents nod next to me trying to comprehend the fact that I'm basically going to be paralyzed for the rest of my life. My mom starts to tear up and Dr.Len leaves to give us some time alone.

My mom squeezes my hand and looks me into my eyes. I never noticed how green her eyes were until I looked at them so much from my bed."Don't worry honey, I'm sure you'll be able to walk again. You've been such a good girl these last few years with all thats happened and you don't deserve to have this happen to you." i hate watching my mom cry.

"I know mom, it will all be okay," I try to convince her but I cant tell she can see right through me.

My dad takes my moms hand and walks her out to the hall. I wipe my tears and lay back looking up at the ceiling. I can hear my dad tell my mom that he'll take her home and feel relieved hoping it'll calm her. I understand hearing your daughter is paralyzed must be hard. I know they say its stage one but I'm not going to have any miracles happen to me. Also, I looked it up and theres only two stages of paralyzation anyway. As I look up at the ceiling I drift off into a nap.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Okay lets play twenty questions again." Henry suggests. He's currently sitting on my bed next to me visiting.

"Okay, you go first."  I agree.

He smirks as he asks,"Ever been kissed before me?" God hes so hot when he smirks. I can feel my checks blush as I hit him on his arm.

"Yes actually, now who's your favorite band?" I try to get back into less sexual questions.

"Umm I have a few, 21 Pilots, Charlie Puth, and Eminem."

"Wow those are very different." I laugh. "But I do have to agree with 21 Pilots." We laugh as he begins to ask the next question.

"Hmm whats your favorite store?"

"Umm I guess I'd say Urban Outfitters." Emily always takes me there hoping I'll start dressing better. But I do have to admit they have cute cloths.

"Okay cool. Your turn."

"If you could reread any book for the first again what would it be?"

"Oooo definately Romeo and Juliet." I gasp after processing what he just said.

"Seriously?" I ask.

"No of course not I don't read!" He burst out laughing and I can't help but laugh too as I punch his arm. Before we started playing this I told him what the doctors told me so I it feels nice to have fun like this again. "Okay so before the accident what was the deepest or darkest thing you went through?"

As soon as he finishes I look down. Knowing exactly what I would say, I think about the memory from a year ago. Judging by him not talking either I think he can tell I don't want to open up. A tear falls down my cheek as he lifts up my chin to look at him.

"Its okay you don't have to tell me." he assures me.

"No its fine, I'll tell you." To be honest I think it'd be nice to tell someone.

"A few years ago my mom got pregnant. We were all very happy since I was the only child and they wanted more kids. But when my mom went into labor the baby died." I pause as a few tears stream down my face." My mom then got depressed and started drinking her problems away. Thats why were poor now. My mom spent so much money for alcohol in a year. But then she went to rehab and therapy for a while so shes better now. I just hate to see her see me like this knowing how bad it hurts her."

Henry put his arm around me and whispered in my ear. "I'm so sorry you went through that, my dad was a druggie before he left us. So I know whats its like to go through with a parent like that."

He reaches for some tissues next to my bed and hands them to me. "Thanks," is all I can manage to say with out crying more. I hate crying in front of people. Let alone opening up to them. "Emily is the only person that knows that story because she was my best friend at the time."

"Well I'm glad you told me." He looks at his phone and checks the time, "But uh actually I- I have to go." He stands up and walks to the door. Then looks at me and waves before leaving.

That was weird.

Why would he let me open up to him and then leave? He didn't even kiss me or really say goodbye....

Maybe I'm over thinking it? That must be it. I close my eyes and lay back down as a headache kicks in.

AUTHORS NOTE: Thanks for reading guys! Your votes and reads keep me going.

Don't be silent readers, comment your opinions!

~Kayla💫