Dealing with the changes

It was a few months since the rally, my once favorite holiday now the most memorable one was approaching, Halloween. My mom was back and forth to the hospital, laying in bed collecting disability checks while me and dad kept up with everything else as best as we can.

I worked at a haunted house my teenage years volunteering for service hours at my school. It was the best times of my life and the reason of loving Halloween so much. One weekend a few of us and people we never met from the previous years decided to have a reunion and walk through one of the local haunted houses. I felt so much warmth in the hugs I received from everybody, it felt good to see people I haven't seen in years. I was staring at a old friend of mine Sharon, she was always beautiful and very naughty looking in the costumes she wore at the haunted house. She had long blonde hair back in the day, but now she cut short to her neck, but the look was perfect on her. I remember that night believing she was flirting with me, she rambled on about a guy stalking her who I think I stood next to in the rain waiting for them to show up. She asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend if he showed up and started talking. My response back was, " You ever heard of cops and restraining orders?" It got a laugh out of her the least, but what shocked me more was finding out that her mom was dying of cancer to. I never knew the true term of my moms they treated it like colon cancer, Sharon's mom was being treated for lung cancer, she was a smoker for years. Her mom to was in bed with nothing the doctors can do.

After a rainy night of fun and laughs, Sharon whispered to my friend Micks ear to tell me that she likes me and to call her. I was amazed of these words , I even thought it was faith leading us together with the circumstances we were in. I thought long and hard about what she said.  Did I really like her like that? Can I handle dating someone four years older then me? Would we have anything besides our love for haunted houses and horror in common? Would she accept me for who I really am? More questions plunged in my brain, but to keep my decision on hold while I get to know her and not interfere with what was going on in our lives I simply told her I wasn't ready to date. My excuse was I needed to be there for my mom and wanted to spend every minute possible with her while she was still here. She understood being she was in the same pickle as me , we both continued talking to one another as the months went by.

I was always hurt when my mom would say, " this might be my last." Could be a birthday, holiday whatever it was she would treat it like it was her last. I dreaded thinking of the truth, but it was eventually gonna happen down the line. The last few months of my mom on Earth was the worse, as the days went on she got worse and worse. Hospice was eventually brought to our house, I did not know at the time that when they come that is a sign of your almost on the way out. Had I known this then I would have changed a lot of what I did . I would come in , eat, shower and go straight to my room. Her body was nothing but skin and bones with the lack of appetite and no movement. I couldn't bare seeing her like this which tortured my own self by looking. I would watch TV while crying myself to sleep and sobbing words of prayers to God. I didn't know what else to do or how else to help her. I began writing as a hobby, it was a way to clear my mom of what was happening and create a world of my own on paper. It was a step up from my script writing hobby days, but more fun and less stressful. It was what I did in my room away from the hurt until that day came.

Mothers Day came, it was most likely my moms last, all she wanted was friends and family together at the house. She also wanted a chocolate cake for dessert, something she had been craving for a long time. We didn't hesitate and gave her wish, even the cake that she forced down to enjoy. It was a very fun day of laughter and was the first we saw her smile in months.

I rested my head on my pillow a week after Mother's Day, it was the first time in three years I did not pray. I was to the point to where nothing was gonna change and I just needed to accept it. The whole week she was staring at the ceiling and in a daze like she wasn't even there. The doctors mentioned fluid building in her body and little bumps poking out all over her chest. It was a sign of her final days are here, I remember eating dinner when my dad told me this and suggested I go get a nice black shirt and pants for soon. I had the pants, but needed a shirt, I wasn't wearing a suit in the summer like heat, but would wear all black for my moms day.

The next day I awoke for work, like all mornings I was afraid to even look at her to say goodbye, but would anyway. This was the first morning I just left without even saying goodbye. I got to work going straight to helping customers, I remember it was a guy I never seen before wanting to paint gym floors. I never rudely answered my cell phone in front of customers, but this call was my dad and I had a bad feeling inside. I answered it and can hear my dad crying on the other line. " Edwin, you need to get home right now." All I can say was. " This is it?" " Yeah." I hung up telling my manager Dale I had to run , it was my mom, I didn't even clock out or grab my lunch I brought in. '

I ran out the door into my car, it was the fastest I ever drove in my life. I had a speed of ninety eight going on the high rise, not caring if a cop spotted me or if I wrecked into anyone. I arrived at my house with three random cars parked in front. My closest cousin John and some friends of my parents were there to be with her to the end. I entered my house , walking slowly to my mom, her eyes were in back of her head with her mouth wide open taking wide deep breaths every few seconds. It was not my mom I said to myself, it was a expression I never seen of her or will ever forget that haunted me in my nightmares for months. The hospice said she was not in any pain, she would go any minute, all we can do is wait and be around her. My mom would mumble words every so often while laying there, she was trying to talk back to everyone who was talking to her. I sat on the sofa and began shedding tears, rambling on about how she will never see me get married or have kids. My grandma stopped me from my words while hugging me. " Watch what your saying Edwin, you don't want her to hear those sad choice of words." She was right , she would not want to leave this world hearing me say those last words and making herself feel regretful.

More friends and family showed up, all the closes ones who had the chance to get out of work wanting to be there for her. My grandma suggested I had to tell her I love her and kiss her one last time before going. She was right, even though it was hard to get up and do. I sat up walking slow to her, I placed my lips on her forehead giving her a kiss, I placed my lips by her ear and whispered. " I love you mom and always will." She got to hear my last words to her before going and it felt go to make those my last choice for her. Everyone began taking turns saying their goodbyes to her in a whisper, every time I would glance at her face I would hold my tears in.

It was after four, we were all laughing telling memorable stories of her in it. She would mumble to us and we would reply back with, " that's right Lisa , we here you."  We had a hanging grandfathered clock hung on the wall , the pendulum was broke for most of the year. My cousin looked up freaking out and noticed it moving again, we assumed with all the energy in the room and spirits ect, it was causing the magnet waves in it to move. We weren't ghost hunters, but new something outside the box was happening before our eyes.

  One of her friends witnessed her take one huge deep breath, then there was silence and no movement from her. " Guys I think shes gone." We all got up at once surrounding her, my dads friend Mr. Mike felt on her face and pulse, there was no more sign of life in her. We all cried hugging each other, she was in no more pain and the war she fought for three years was finally over. I laid in my bed that night with no tears, I was relieved knowing I won't have to wonder when the day will come and that she was no longer in pain. I prayed to God, thanking him for giving me the extra time he gave us with her, it wasn't what anyone would want, but it was better then loosing a love one so soon.