Dealing with the changes

Things do get better in time after loosing a love one, but there are those rare times when you feel like how you felt in the beginning. I wasted all my time neglecting my friend Sharon, going on only two get together's not a date. She sent me a text that pretty much ended us talking or caring if we dated or not, it was a funny text with lies written all over it. She was not willing to wait, but I was not ready, two different thoughts of where we want to be. I felt relieved not having to worry of this, but at the same time loosing just a friend can be bad on you and others that know them. I wondered those months if I would have gave it the time and day, where would we have wounded up? We never would know or worry about it, she found a man two years later and got married to him.

My favorite, but not so favorite holiday came once again, Halloween. I met a friend online from school named Erica. She had long brown hair in high school, now it was shorter, she still had those pretty green eyes. I was in that feeling again of wanting to date, but take things slow to see what would happen. Me and a friend picked her up for a get together at a haunted house, that is where I discovered her fear of clowns and resulting of scratches on my back. It was a fun night with cooler weather, we hugged each other bye not thinking of anything else.

We began to talk more all day and night, I didn't even think of Sharon anymore. Erica was beginning to really like me as more then a friend, but I didn't know how I felt about her. I told her just stick around with me and see where things wound up, this time I met it, no lies to keep a girl wondering. We went on a real date to the movies, along with a dinner at the steak house. We giggled all night with laughter, it was the most I smiled since loosing my mom.

A month and a half passed, me and Erica were hanging out more, we began to even give each other a kiss goodbye on the lips when being separated back to our own homes. I finally felt it was time ask her to be my girlfriend and felt I needed a big change in my life. It was December 17, I got us Chinese food from around the corner of my house. After we ate I held her hand to ask the question, she jumped on and down with yes as she hugged and kissed me. I was in a relationship after a few years and time waiting , it felt good to be with someone you can hold again.

New Years Eve came, the first fight was already upon us, that was usually for me in a relationship. I had got the news of my cousin dying, his lost would break a relationship of me and his younger brother who was also my cousin. Since kids we were close, he didn't do so well in life, but stayed close to me. After a altercation between us, we stopped and till this day don't speak a word to each other. I never got a apology for the hurtful things he said and probably wouldn't want it anyway. It wouldn't change what he said and what he become after the lost of his close brother who he idolized.

I kept Erica close, we almost lost each other from a huge fight I started, but we agreed to still try things out. She had quit her job and came live with me where my dad wasn't home no more, he was with his new girlfriend who I knew as a child, a co worker from his job. We pretty much owned the house, but had to depend on each other, it was a tough task to follow. I allowed a friend to stay with us who was going through a tough time, only if he helped out with us. We cooked, purchased the groceries and other personal bills, my dad kept up with the big bills for us.

I got home from work and got the second worse call in my life. My dad gave us all a choice, we either all had to move out or figure out a way to pay for everything. He was over drafting his account and couldn't afford to pay for all of us anymore. It was a hard decision, but I had to move out and move in with my grandmother twenty minutes away. Its hard loosing your mom then loosing your house that you grew up in, that your future children will never get to see or play in, all within a years span . I gathered all what I could, loading a lot of things in a storage unit till I found a place again one day. We sold the rest of the stuff we didn't want to make some kind of profit to help us for now. It was another change, one I was not happy about. We had lived in that house for months struggling for food and other things, but found a miracle way to manage some how. It was a feeling I never wanted to feel again, I promised myself if I ever got my own place it would be on my own terms and I would make sure I had enough money to fund everything and not struggle. I had a new mission in life, but for now I had to save up and live the life that was about to start at another house I grew up around. The same house my mom once grew up in from birth to a teenager before moving out and starting a new life, one that involved me in it.