A Little Lie | Marco Reus/Erik Durm

Chapter 9

"I... That's awful, why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm embarrassed... that I could be that weak"

I'm embarrassed that I've never kissed a guy because of it, that I've never been intimate because of it. That I can't love because of it. I'm embarrassed, that I'm scared of everything because of it. That because one guy, who didn't even care about me, I can't seem to trust that people want the best for me. This guy wasn't even mine and he broke me anyway.

"Mila, that's nothing to be embarrassed about. It wasn't your fault" Marco said, as he pulled me into a hug.

I've missed this so damn badly. Marco's strong and warm hugs. It just made the tears run down even faster.

"I believe you. I believe you meant no harm to me" he whispered in my ear, which made me smile.

At least now, I'd gotten to tell my side of the story. Even if he wanted to be with me or not, I'd told him the truth and I needed to do that. I needed to come clean, it was the right thing to do.

Marco sweetness spread around my body, as I tighten the grip around him. I never wanted to let him go, but then Marco broke the hug.

"Thank you for telling me. It means a lot to me" he smiled, as his fingertip slid over my lip.

"I don't... want you to be with me, if you don't want to. I don't want you to feel sorry for me, so I'm going to get up and walk away now, ball's in your court" I forced a smile and he nodded seriously.

I knew he had some things to figure out, I don't blame him. I didn't want to pressure him, or force him to do anything.

I took a good look at him one last time, knowing it might actually be the last time. I sighted and walked over to my friends, feeling Marco's eyes burn in my neck. Was this the last time I'd ever hear from him? The pain in my heart grew, as I thought about it and it scared the crap out of me.

**

My hands were shaking and my throat was dry, as I looked at the audience. I can't believe I actually signed up for this. Looking back, it was kind of forced. I've always liked music very much, so when I had the opportunity to pick music as a class in school, I did it. If we wanted to pass the semester, we had to preform something at this bar, but standing in it now, I wasn't sure if I could do it.

"Are you okay, Mila?" Alex asked, probably seeing my pail face.

I nodded, not even glancing at him. He was playing guitar, but he was the type, that performed whenever he had the chance.

"You'll be fine" he said, stroking my shoulder.

"I shouldn't have changed the song" I whispered, regretting it now.

I was supposed to sing Justin Bieber's pray, because our task was to perform something real, something you felt, but after everything with Marco happened, I chose another song, a song I could relate too.

"Look, Mila. This song is a million times better. I feel you, when you sing. With that song, you can make everybody feel it. Trust me, you got this" he smiled, and I tried to smile back.

"Let's welcome Alex and Mila performing What You Mean To Me" the guy with the mike said and we walked up stage.

My eyes fast caught the three best friends in the world, who stood up, cheering for me. I gave them a quick smile, before sitting down on the chair. Alex sat next to me, picking up his guitar. I took a deep breath, looking at Alex, who nodded at me. I nodded back, giving him a sign to start. My head was panicking though, I couldn't do this. My throat seemed frozen and my voice was just gone. Alex started playing, but my heart stopped.

That's when my eyes caught Marco's. He was here, he remembered, he was actually here. He sent me a small smile, making me calm down a bit. With his mouth, he mumbled 'I'm here, supporting you', which made me blush.

"Can't blame you for thinking
That you never really knew me at all
I tried to deny you
But nothing ever made me feel so wrong"

I kept looking at Marco, staring in his eyes. It almost made my heart hurt, having to sing this to him. He didn't remove his eyes either, he was very focused on me.

"I thought I was protecting you
From everything that I go through
But I know that we got lost along the way

Here I am with all my heart
I hope you understand
I know I let you down
But I'm never gonna make
That mistake again
You brought me closer
To who I really am
Come take my hand
I want the world to see
What you mean to me
What you mean to me"

I still kept my eyes on Marco, closing everyone out of my mind. There was only him and me.

"Just know that I'm sorry
I never wanted to make you feel so small
Our story is just beginning
But let the truth break down these walls
And every time I think of you
I think of how you pushed me through
And show me how much better I could be"

It made Marco smile, which made me smile. I actually felt like I got something off my chest. It made me feel better, but even better was it, that he was here, supporting me.

"You make me feel like I'm myself
Instead of being someone else
I wanna live that every day
You say what no one else was saying
You know exactly how to get to me
You know it's what I need
It's what I need yeah"

Alex played the last tones on the guitar, before stopping. People got up and started clapping, Marco clapped too. A smile spread on my lips, as I realized I just overcame my fear. Alex got up and gave me a hug, before whispering.

"Look at that, you did amazing"

"So did you" I whispered back, before we bowed and got down the stage.

"You were awesome!" Julia yelled, as she pulled me into a hug.

"I can't believe I just did that" I stuttered, still with shaking hands.

I glanced over at Marco, giving him a little smile.

"I'll be right back" I said, before walking towards Marco.

He sent e that little crocked smile, that made my body tickle.

"You remembered" I whispered.

"Of course, I promised you"

"Thank you" I smiled, and he smiled back.

"We need to talk" he said, I nodded.