A Little Lie | Marco Reus/Erik Durm

Chapter 22

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on,
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin,

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything,
So why don't we go,
Somewhere only we know?

The wind was blowing in my hair, filtering it around my headphones. I looked out at the lake, watching the sunshine reflect in it. I sighting heavily before closing my eyes. The anger had more or less disappeared from my body and the wind were now cooling me down, but as the anger went away, the fear came crawling back.

I didn't really know why I got so angry with Marco, but sometimes, I had these buttons he could just push and I would kick off no matter what. I guess Carolin was one of my weak once. It wasn't because I wanted to control him, I was just so damn afraid of losing him. Sometimes I feel like, I hold his hand too thigh, I cling around him and it just pushes him further away from me. But why couldn't he see that? Why couldn't he see, that Carolin worried me? Marco had to understand that it hurts me when she's around, because I don't want to lose him. I mean, everybody has a past, but mostly it's in the dark, Marco's on the other hand, was patting on my shoulder every now and then, it's like playing with fire, doomed to go wrong.

I was pulled out of my thoughts, when someone pulled of my headphones. I looked to my side, as Marco flashed a little, but careful smile. I smiled back, but it didn't really have any warmth to it. Marco sat down next to me, looking out at the lake. The sunlight hit him, which made his blond hair glow more than usual.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked, licking my lips.

"Your hiding place, doesn't take much thinking. It's somewhere only we know" he mumbled, slowly making me nod.

There were silent between us for a while, but I didn't like it. We'd had silence between us before, but this one was bad.

Actually, I didn't like fighting here. This was my safe place, that I've shared with him. It was the last placed my dad had taken me, this wasn't a place for bad memories, this was a place for joy.

"I don't get it, I can't understand-" Marco started, looking at me.

"I'm with you, I love you. Don't you trust me?" he continued, wrinkling his forehead.

"I don't trust her" I sighted, meeting his eyes.

"I can't... As much as I want too, I can't do anything about that"

"I know, I have to deal with the fact, that she's besties with the others, but sometimes... it feels like she is still with you. Likes she's still yours"

"What are you talking about?"

"I walked in and you were laughing and talking... and she had her hand on your arm. It reminded me of the picture of the two of you, like nothing had changed, like I wasn't even a part of your life. That's what everybody wants anyways, to paint me out of the picture. And you looked happy, both of you" I sighted, licking my lips. It left Marco speechless, sighting.

"Oh, Mila" he said, before placing a hand on my cheek.

He stroked it a bit, not taking his eyes of me.

"I'm sorry you feel this way. I never wanted to make you feel that way" Marco sighted, meeting my sadden eyes.

I knew, he was truly sorry, but his eyes told me, that there were something about her, something he didn't let me in on, but maybe it wasn't what I thought, but it was there, I had no doubt. I let my gaze glance away from Marco's eyes, as I felt them getting wet.