Mushoku No Sonzai 無色の存在 (Colorless Existence)

Lingering Heart : Act 5

"Ren. I think you know now what the other Reiki inside Susumu is."

White flames appear in her hand.

"White flames...The most powerful of flames...but that Reiki.....You mean...?"

"Yes. My entire Reiki....I gave Susumu half of it. Naturally, it was the only way to keep him safe..."

"Keep me safe..?"

"Susumu. Your father.....was a human."

I know that much...But, I never did really know my dad.

"I didn't have a choice but to give you half of my Reiki at that time. You see, at that time, the demons knew I was conceiving a child. Normally, nobody would bother to interfere, even if it was a human child. But, you were a special case. You possessed a large vessel of Reiki, even before being born. The demons wanted their hands on you, especially because of my reputation in the battlefield."

"I...had my own Reiki...?"

"Susumu, there are very few Human Divine Senshi, including you. But, every single Divine Senshi that is human has obtained their Reiki through a near death experience when an Angel decides to help them. But, you possessed Reiki before birth."

Her hand strokes my cheek.

"Susumu. You tried to kill yourself, remember?"

"I did."

Ren sits on a metal chair nearby, listening to our conversation.

"I was a human too. But, Ren was also my armament before. This means I've experienced near death too."

She stares at her body on the hospital bed.

"Susumu...I know this is going to burden you....But..."

Her hand reaches my chest, gently rubbing against it. I feel my heart beat calmly, but then I heard those words....

"I already died."

As my heartbeat suddenly becomes slower, I try to contemplate what she had said.
She died...? That can't be...

"When you tried to kill yourself, you didn't receive injuries. But, a demon known as Manabu had tried to kill you. I received word of this from other Divine Senshi shortly after. You were taken to the hospital. Manabu damaged your heart and organs immensely....In order to save your human body..."

Ren stares away, his face giving a grim expression. He knows....
Mom touches my chest again, my heart beating slowly.

"I transplanted my heart into your body to save you..."

No....
I reach for my chest slowly. As my trembling hand feels the heartbeat from within, tears drip from my face without me knowing.
No....No...
My vision blurs. As my breath becomes uncontrollably slow, I begin to feel dizzy.
No...

"I....killed you..."

Ren looks away towards the window, as if to show a form of respect.
Mom lays me on her lap, rubbing through my hair.

"Susumu. Don't be sad....My heart still beats within you, see? My Reiki still burns inside you....I'm not gone..."

"No!!! I killed you....Because of my selfish actions.....Because of my stupid thoughts..."

"Susumu. I don't think you understand. Even if you didn't do such a thing, Manabu would still try to kill you..."

"....why.....does he want to kill me....?"

"Manabu was an extremely dangerous demon. A very high ranking one, even miles ahead of Lieutenant Jin. I suppose he's angry at me for defeating him....And he sought revenge through killing my son...."