#8 :: Not Everything Is Shared

11) ALEXANDRA

"Mr Lawson. Nice to see you here. Business or personal?" He asked.

"Personal. One of the booths please." Calum told him. He took us to our booth for the night where a bottle of both champagne and wine was waiting for us along with breadsticks and olives.

"Please, have a seat and someone will be with you in the next five minutes." He said.

"Thank you Marcel." He said as we sat down.

"First name bases? They know you by your surname? This must be a regular place for you?" I asked him as he poured me a drink.

"Yeah it is." He replied as he handed me a glass.

"So, this is where you bring all the girls then?" I asked.

"Nope. Not at all. You're the first person that's not family that I have brought here in fact."

"Really? So how come they know you and you know them?" I asked as I tasted the wine. It was sweet. Perfect.

"Because I own this restaurant." He said making me choke on my drink. He laughed.

"You okay?" He asked me.

"Yep. I am fine. I was just not expecting that."

"Again..."

"Sorry?"

"You wasn't expecting that...again...just like when I told you my wife was no longer around. Look I don't know what happened in your previous relationship and I'm not prying. But I will let you into a little something about me. What you see is what you get. I am as genuine as they come. I ain't talking to anyone. If you haven't noticed I have enough on my plate. I own my own restaurant which is doing very well. So well that I am in the process of opening another one. As well as that I am a single parent. Which I'm assuming as you know it's not an easy task. To be honest I found it quite hard to start dating after Jackie died because I felt I was being unfaithful to her. You are the first and only woman I have approached and it took a lot for me to do that."

"You named your restaurant after her? That is so beautiful." I said smiling. I genuinely meant it.

"Out of everything that is all you heard?" He chuckled.

"No. I heard you loud and clear. But I think for me, that was the most important part."

"I'm glad you think so." He said and smiled. For the rest of the night we sat, ate, and got to know each other. He was twenty seven, had never been on holiday because he was scared of flying. He wanted to overcome this fear so his son could see the world, he has a stay at home nanny who is like a grandma to both him and his son. He does regular actives with his son so they can bond. The more we spoke and got to know each other the more I warmed to him. That and he was so good to look at.

"So, are you going to stop making assumptions about me and stop thinking I'm a bad guy?" he said with a little humour.

"I'm sorry. Just like you this is all new to me. Other than Zack's father, I haven't been with anyone else."

"...and I'm assuming he's the reason I'm being stereotyped?" he asked. I looked at him but didn't answer. He held up his hands.

"You don't have to explain, or go into detail. But whether it's me or anybody else. You really shouldn't compare us to your ex. You could lose or miss out on something good." He said. I knew he was right but I found it so hard. I wanted to lighten the conversation so I decided to change the subject.

"So, what made you decide to open a restaurant?" I asked.

"Well, me and Jackie loved to cook and loved to eat. We went to all the restaurants we came across sampling food. Some delicious some we refused to pay..." we both laughed. "...anyway after a while she thought of us having our own restaurant. I told her that when someone owns their own restaurant it's very hard for them to enjoy being a chef as they would have to be more involved with the business side. I would have preferred working in a restaurant that wasn't mine but I was the well-known chef. She agreed but didn't want to work for anyone. She said if we opened our own she would take more responsibility for the business and I could cook. So we thought about it and we started working our butts off to save. During this time Jackie fell pregnant. Her whole pregnancy was hard for her. She was constantly in and out of hospital. We never knew why because we were a healthy couple. We did everything right. It was just like the pregnancy didn't agree with her. On top of that she was then overdue..." he stopped. I sighed. I was trying to lighten the mood and ended up making things worse.

"You don't have to go on. I really wasn't trying to bring up bad memories for you. I'm sorry." I said. He looked up to me and his eyes glistened. He smiled.

"I vowed that I would make sure her name forever lives on and that even though Jeremih never got to meet her. He will know how wonderful she is." I smiled at him. He was indeed a strong man and someone who I felt I needed around me. Someone who you know no matter what will keep you going.

"I admire you, you know. I don't know what the future holds but I definitely would like you as a friend in my life. You seem like a good man." I said and he smiled again.

"I am a good man. In due time you shall see." He said. The bell went in the restaurant letting us know that unfortunately the night had to come to an end.

"I had a really good evening with you." He said as he walked me to the car.

"Yeah, so did I. Was nice." I replied.

"So maybe you will be hungry again?" He chuckled. I laughed too.

"Maybe I will" I smiled.

"Then next time I will cook for you?"

"I look forward to it." I said as he hugged me. He felt so warm. I didn't realise that I wasn't letting go until he asked me if I'm alright. We both laughed and he waited for me to start up the car before he got into his.

As I drove home I couldn't stop smiling. I will admit I was scared. I hadn't felt anything for anyone in years. It was a feeling I didn't want to start feeling again. Also because of Ryan I still had my doubts. I mean just because we had one good date don't mean he's the perfect guy. He was ticking all the boxes yeah, but you got to remember I was with someone for six years who then told me he wasn't ready to commit. Even though I liked his company, it would take a lot for this guard of mine to come down.

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