My Highschool Survival Guide And Journal

September 5th to 11th

Tuesday- It was an okay day, but I think I screwed up a math test. I also have to use part of my resource tomorrow redoing a paper for computer class because it didn't save right, but oh well.

I just found out that there's a cross country meet tomorrow after school. I was under the assumption that meets were only on weekends, but I guess I was wrong. I really have a bad feeling about this one. I have to run 3 miles instead of 2 like the previous 2 meets. If it's as hot as it was today, I'm surely going to die.

My goal is 30 minutes or under, 32 if it's really hot. And I want to keep up with Lauren.

Wednesday- Today was a flurry of fucking emotions. First off, I found out I got a 95 on a math test so I was happy.

At lunch, I planned to sit with J and Gracie. Chi was gone again (found out later that she was sick). The three of us sat down at table with 3 other girls, and Gracie knew at least one of them 'cause that's why we sat there. Apparently, Norrel knows Gracie, and she convinced him to sit with us because she didn't want these 2 people she didn't like to fill the table.

Let me repeat this: Norrel SAT at the same table as me.

Of course, I didn't use this to my advantage to leave an impression. I said nothing to him. I'm so flirty and confident, right? Well at least he's probably starting to associate my face with familiarity.

Then things went down hill.

#1. I got lost at the meet (it was only between 2 schools btw). I was running, and accidentally made a wrong turn that shaved off about a half a mile. I still got last place.

#2. I was literally sobbing as I got to the end because everything  (the heat, going the wrong way, knowing I did bad) just got to me. I'm really bad at holding my emotions in.

#3. Norrel asked me if I was okay when he saw me crying. Which I would be flattered by, but can you imagine how weak and sensitive  (not to mention ugly) I looked? Just uhhghhh.

#4. I had a shit ton of homework, which I didn't have a lot of time to do because the meet ran later than practice typically does.

#5. I'm not sure if this is good or bad, but let me describe what happened: I was texting Chi, and mentioned my crush on Norrel. She said she could give me his number because they're friends, so I was like no I don't want to seem desperate.

She then texted me his number and said that "He said it's okay. He knows you." Which made me flip the frick out because I probably sounded like a total stalker. Chi said she made it not sound weird though. I told her I'd text him tomorrow because I have alot of homework to do.

I'm not sure if I should actually do that. I mean, Norrel already probably has a building bad impression of me. I'm just going to fuck it up more by texting him. Plus, like what do I even say? But like, this could be my chance to be friends with him. And wouldn't he think it was kinda weird if I never texted him after asking for his number?

I don't know anymore. This day was just so asdffjgkhkh. I'll sleep on it.

Thursday- I got no homework today! Also, my world history quiz was really easy (we had to draw cave painting pictures as answers).

I got a tardy for being late to lunch, like wth. I thought it didn't matter; I was in the bathroom and I was only a couple minutes off. I've literally been late to lunch 50% of the time, and no one has said shit til now. But whatever. We get like 2 freebie tardies a semester I think.

Alyssa's coming over and I'm low key nervous because I still need time to do yesterday's  chemistry homework. She has to be home before dark though, so I think I'm good. I'm also worried about coming off as boring. On one hand, I'm confident that Alyssa's not going to ditch me as a friend. On the other, I still don't want to screw up and be boring.
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Everything turned out good, it was a actually pretty fun. We kinda chilled and talked at my house, plus we saved a couple frogs stuck in this well/grate thing. Then we rode our bikes over to her house, and her parents were like super cool with Alice just bringing over a stranger. Btw Alice has a super adorable long haired hamster. Anyway, we played GTA5 and then I had to get home.

Unfortunately J is gonna be gone til Monday :( . A couple of weeks ago I'd be freaking out 'cause she was my only friend, but now I'm fine.

Friday- Not much happened during my classes, but lunch was lit. A dj was there for some reason (I guess to hype up the school for homecoming) and people were dancing and stuff. I sat with Chi and Gracie. Unfortunately Norrel did not join us this time.

Anyway, I have a meet tomorrow, so I'll let you guys know how that goes. Hopefully I won't get lost again.

Saturday- The meet was actually pretty fun! I hung out with Alice most of time. I also got under 30 minutes (29.16) and beat 3 of my teammates! For awhile in the race, I was running with 2 of them too (including Lauren). 

One of our best girls in the girl's open category (which I was in) ran the thing in like 20 minutes! She's only a freshman. She'll totally be running varsity by junior year. It kind of makes me feel like shit, but hey good for her!

Oh yeah, and since I'm too much of a chicken to text Nate, Alice told him that I didn't ask for his number, Chi just gave it to me. However, that probably doesn't make sense with what Chi told him in the first place, and most likely made me seem weirder. Oh well. . .

I follow the 40 or so people from my eighth grade class on Instagram, and everyone's getting homecoming dates! I'm still not sure whether I'll go or not. Both Chi and Alice (who are going together) said I could come with them, but I don't want to third wheel. Gracie is going with her best friend. J is going with a group of her friends that I don't really know. I was hoping as a last resort I could join them, but I have a feeling that J doesn't want me too, idrk. And there's no chance in hell I'm getting a date. We'll see what happens.

Tips-

1. Don't compare yourself to others. Focus on improving you.

2. Always work on raising your grades.

3. If you get a guy's number and can carry a conversation, text him. Don't be like me.

4. Don't let a stressful situation keep you from enjoying the positive parts of it.

5. Hang out with your friends and have fun!