In My Life

CHAPTER TWENTY

I'm lost. I can't find one single familiar face. I can't even distinguish the students from the citizens from the citizens helping the students. It's just a mass of people firing at one another.

"Eponine!" I hear someone cry.

Finally, someone I know. I turn around and instantly tense. Montparnasse. He's not supposed to be here. I turn around to leave.

"'Ponine, wait!"

I shake my head. I told him I didn't want to see him again.

"I'm... I'm sorry!" he yells.

I stop dead in my tracks. My hands clash into fists by my side. I spin around again and find myself head to head with him. I instantly push him away.

"'Ponine, I'm sorry," he repeats. "Forgive me, please."

"Forgive you?" I reply. "How?"

"How?" He shakes his head. "I don't know."

"Good to have that cleared out."

I start to walk away again as I feel a hand grab hold of my arm.

"What?!" I yell, spinning around.

I shove his hand off my arm.

"Just let me explain," he pleads.

"We have nothing to talk about, Montparnasse," I hiss. "And now's definitely not the time."

And then he grabs my arm and pulls me close. Before I get the chance to react, he presses his lips against mine and closes his eyes. After a few moments, I get out of my state of complete and utter shock and shove him away.

"The hell was that?" I bark.

But he just smiles in return.

"I've been wanting to do that since the day I saw you," he tells me. "'Ponine, I..."

"Get away from me!" I shout.

I turn around and start running in the opposite direction. And that's when the gunshot is heard. I stop dead in my tracks. I turn around as everything seems to be in slow motion.

I see people running around, some towards the national guard to go fight, others holding their children and running the other way. People are shouting, screaming the names of their loved ones. I feel my pulse quickening as I search for Montparnasse. But he's not there anymore.

"Montparnasse?" I call out.

"'Ponine, look out!"

I feel a heavy mass leap onto me as we fall to the ground. A second gunshot is heard and suddenly all goes still. I push the mass off me and it falls limply on the side. I roll over to see what it was and see Montparnasse's motionless body lying on its back, his eyes shut. A small puddle of dark liquid is starting to form at the base of his back.

"Montparnasse?" I try, tears starting to form in my eyes.

No answer. Of course, he's dead. He's... dead. My childhood friend. My best friend. My rock. Just... dead. He has to know... He has to know I didn't mean what I said. I don't hate him. I need him here.

"'Parnasse..."

A pair of arms suddenly grab hold of my waist.

"No!" I shriek. "Montparnasse!"

I'm being pulled up as my hat falls to the ground, making my hair fall over my shoulders. The person instantly lets go.

"A Mademoiselle?" the voice realizes. "What are you doing here?"

I turn, eyes filled with tears as I see the guard looking at me.

"You shouldn't be here, Mademoiselle," he continues.

"Did you do this?" I ask, my eyes burning with hatred and shock.

"Mademoiselle..."

"Did you?" I repeat firmly.

He shakes his head.

"Not me, Mademoiselle. Him."

He points at someone to my left. I spin around and suddenly feel my legs give away. Because right there, looking at his smoking gun, is Marius Pontmercy.

"Eponine!" I hear someone shout.

I hear a gunshot as the guard next to me falls to the ground. But the sound is getting further away. All is becoming a blur. I see a figure running towards me, but my eyes are fixed on Monsieur Marius. And then the figure grabs me by the shoulders as my sight gets clearer and he comes into focus.

"Enjolras?" I ask, still a little bit dazed.

"We're going to the barricades! Come on!"

He grabs my arm and starts pulling me away. I look back behind him, but Marius is gone. All I see now is Montparnasse's motionless body lying on the ground.

"I forgive you, 'Parnasse," I whisper. "I want you to know that I forgive you."

And then Enjolras turns a corner and I lose sight of Montparnasse. That's it. That's the last time I laid eyes on my friend. He's gone. And the last thought he had was of me being mad at him...