Dead without you ~ stucky

The buzzing intercom makes me jump to my feet. I retreated into the guestroom as I needed some time to make sense of the things Steve told me. The loud buzzer rips through the silence and gets the adrenaline flowing through my veins. Suddenly I'm on full alert. I walk over to the doorway and watch Steve use the intercom to find out more.

"You're always welcome. Come on up, Sam."

Sam... Does he mean Sam Wilson? Or is it a different Sam? I waver and remain near the doorway. Maybe Steve wants his privacy.

"You remember Sam, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. I destroyed his wings." And I still feel bad about that, but there's nothing I can do about it.

"Don't worry about that. Tony's already designing him new wings, stronger ones, which won't tear that easily."

I have no idea who this Tony is. I don't think I heard the name before, but I can't be sure about that. He gestures me to join him, so I walk up to him. I'll take my leads from him. A moment later the door opens and Sam moves inside. Yes, I remember the guy, which is a relief. It's odd that I haven't forgotten about him.

"Looking good!" Sam greets us and shakes Steve's hand enthusiastically.

He smiles at me as well, which unsettles me. What does he want from me?

"Are you interested in going for some coffee? I met a new barista at your coffee shop downstairs and you should try her coffee!"

"Are you interested in her or in the coffee?" Steve winks at him, walks toward the door, and picks up two coats.

He hands me one; I follow his example and put it on. It's a decent fit. Is he really leaving the apartment? Doesn't he know how dangerous it is to expose himself like that? Hydra will be there waiting for him.

"Coffee sounds great." Steve steps out into the corridor, closely followed by Sam. "Aren't you coming along, Buck?"

Do I really have to spell it out to him? "Hydra is waiting for you out there. Are you going to make it that easy for them?" How am I supposed to keep him safe on those streets?

"We can't hide in here, Buck. I'm not afraid of Hydra – not at the moment. We defeated them." I have no idea what he's talking about and Steve must have noticed, because he adds, "I'll tell you later. Just believe me when I say that Hydra's down for now."

I still don't believe it, but I can't let him go outside without me watching his back. That's my job. Don't ask me how I know that, I just do. I follow them toward the elevator, which we ride down. Now that we're approaching the exit, my nerves go wild. The street's full and busy when we step outside and there's no way I can scan the buildings for possible threats. The sheer number of people, the skyscrapers, the traffic noise, it all gets to me and I lean against the wall for support. Too much input – this is sensory overload.

"Bucky?"

Steve's hands settle on my shoulders and I force myself to look at him, as I know it will help me calm down. He looks calm and in control and I need to know he's in charge.

"I just need a moment," I whimper and try to recompose myself.

"What's happening?" Sam asks in a concerned tone.

How do I explain this to them?

"It's different when the Winter Soldier goes on a mission. He's used to this. I'm not... Sometimes I feel like I never really left that cryo tube." I didn't explain it right, but the words fail me. Thankfully the pressure in my head is lessening and I grow accustomed to the madness surrounding me. "I'm fine," I tell them once I feel more in control.