Dead without you ~ stucky

"Hey, are you hungry? Do you want to have dinner with us?"

Steve sits down on the arm rest and I can tell he's watching me. My back is still toward him and I slowly turn onto my back to look at him, as I don't want to shut him out.

"I'm not sure I can manage any food."

"That's fine, just give it a try."

Steve offers me his hand and I push back the quilt. With my right hand, I curl my fingers around his and Steve pulls me to my feet. I feel odd; I feel numb in a way. I follow him to the kitchen table, sit down, and watch Sam fill up our plates. Steve sits down next to me and smiles at me. I manage a weak smile in turn, wanting to reassure him.

"Pasta time!" Sam places the plates in front of us and moves the grated cheese toward me. "You go first. There's more, so take as much as you like."

I reach for the spoon and put some of the grated cheese on top of the pasta. I'm not very hungry and hope I can manage some, knowing Steve wants me to eat. I push the grated cheese toward Steve and wait for them to start eating. Once they do, I pick up my fork and start on the pasta. It's messy and the tomato sauce ends up everything. I watch them closely and notice they're using their spoon too. Imitating their way of eating pasta, I realize it's much easier that way.

"I'm gonna leave once we've finished," Sam announces. "Are we meeting up for our morning run at eight?"

Steve looks to me at hearing that question. What exactly does he want?

"Do you want to go running in the morning? I always run with Sam and I'd love for you to join us. That way we can make fun of him together."

"Hey, I don't have the advantages of your super soldier serum," Sam objects. "I'm only human," he adds in a dramatic tone.

What super soldier serum? I have no idea what he's talking about and I dismiss it. I shrug and look at Steve.

"I can run."

"Great! It's the three of us then!"

Sam seems even happier than Steve about my decision to go jogging with them. I don't understand what the big deal is; I can run after them. I manage a few more bites, but then I start to feel queasy, and I put down the utensils. That's all I'm going to eat, because I don't want to end up throwing up later.

"Aren't you hungry?" Steve sounds worried.

"My stomach is acting up. I don't know if I can keep it down if I eat more." It's best to be honest.

"We'll try later. Maybe you'll like desert." Steve finishes his plate, but keeps giving me troubled looks.

"Can I go and rest some more? I'm tired." I'm used to asking for permission in the rare cases Hydra didn't give me instructions and it has become second nature, so I do the same thing now.

"Sure, you go ahead and get some rest. The bed is more comfortable than the couch though. Do you want me to check on you in case you're having troubling sleeping?"

"How do you know about the nightmares?" I didn't tell him about them, did I? At least I can't remember I did.

"You're not the only one," Steve whispers. "I have them too. Even Sam does."

In a way hearing that reassures me, but at the same time, I also feel sorry for them, as I know how bad nightmares can get.

"Maybe you can wake me up before it gets really bad?" My nightmares are the main reason why I don't want to go to sleep. Everything becomes real when I'm asleep.