everything has changed ? joshler [ON HOLD]

Paper Mache Planes

we get under the covers, each one on his side. it feels weird sleeping on his bed now. back when we were nothing but best friends, it felt normal. now that we're dating, it gives me this weird tension between my head and my crotch. you know what i mean?

i push those dirty thoughts out of my mind and get closer to him. he becomes the little spoon, with my arms around his hips. i press a kiss to the back of his neck, i can feel his heartbeat getting faster. "goodnight, babe,"he says sleepily.

"goodnight, princess."

❂

josh and i wake up really late. like really late. i'm talking 3 pm late. my mom isn't too happy about it. josh's parents and siblings, as well as my own siblings, are all waiting downstairs for us.

we tried to look as decent as we could. i don't think we succeeded, i looked in the bathroom mirror and i look horrible. josh obviously talked me out of that thought...you might know how.

anyway, we're downstairs exchanging gifts and talking with our families. he looks really happy, i'm glad. i wouldn't be able to tell the difference between him and a five year old who got the very thing he wanted for christmas. which is exactly what is happening except he is seventeen.

mom doesn't look nearly as happy as the rest of us do. and that's counting josh's dad who is serious as hell 80% of the time. she's seating the furthest away, but she's still close enough to fool the other people on the room. not me though.

i sit on the floor next to her,"mom?"

"yes, sweetie?"she says with a fake ass smile on her face. she's totally putting on a show to make me feel good. that's not gonna work.

"are you okay? is it because dad?"

her face looks alarmed. she didn't expect me to mention dad. i haven't talked about him in like three years. he never came into conversations naturally. not even my siblings, who still love him with all of their heart for some reason (maybe because they didn't witness the horrors that was him the last months he was here), talk about him.

"n-no,"she lies,"it's not because of dad."

"mom."

"tyler, i don't want to discuss this right now. much less in front of the duns,"she cuts the conversation short and i don't want to push any further.

half hour passes by, all presents have been given and opened. i got a lot of the things i wanted, so did everyone else. now we're gonna have dinner, meaning that josh and i have to work as servants bringing all the food that's on the kitchen to the dining room.

"tyler, bring in the mashed potatoes,"josh tells me from the kitchen doorway to the dining room.

"okay,"i take the plate with the potatoes and see a piece of paper fall down from the counter where they were. i put the plate back where it was and kneel down to grab the paper. it's a christmas card from my dad.

next to him there's a young blonde girl with a very short red dress on. she looks like she is in her early twenties, maybe around 23. i look at the back and see on dad's handwriting that he is now living on portland, oregon, with this random chick. it's directed to my mom, clearly stating that this little update paragraph isn't in any other of the christmas cards he sent out.