Something has changed (phan)

(WARNING: There is mention of self harm in this chapter. Stay safe lovelies) 

The next few weeks followed a concerning and unhealthy pattern.

Dan world get up, get dressed in his full black attire and go out, leaving Phil either alone at home or having to go to work.
Phil would come home to an empty house as Dan was nowhere to be seen and would later come home drunk.

A dangerous pattern, a toxic routine yet one that Phil had unfortunately gotten used to.

Phil had tried to talk to Dan on multiple occasions, only to get a harsh reply or no reply at all.

This has been going on for almost 3 weeks.
3 weeks of this reckless behaviour, 3 weeks of this new Dan.

What Phil was unaware of however, was the destruction that continued within the house, a personal destruction that Dan took upon himself to inflict upon himself.
The razor danced along his skin as he sliced over and over, desperate to feel something, anything, to let him know he was still alive.

Although, he'd still much rather not be.

The blood dripped down his forearm as if it was painting its own picture on his pale skin, a picture of destruction and chaos, representing how he felt on the inside.
A mess, but he couldn't let anyone know.

Dan wrapped up the freshly made cuts with a bandage, wrapping it tightly and covering it with his black long sleeve and putting his bracelets on top.
No one needed to know, not about this, not about anything and especially not about that night.

Phil was seated on the couch, flicking through the channels on TV when he heard Dan come down the stairs.
Great he thought to himself, what insult will he got this time.

Phil wasn't supposed when he heard Dan open the front door, but something in Phil wanted answers,
And he wanted them now.

"Dan! Come here!" Phil yelled. Phil never yelled but all he heard was a sarcastic snicker behind him.
"Why should I? You can't tell me what to do"
"Dan please I want to talk to you, we need to talk I can't put up with your behaviour anymore!" Phil was on the edge of bursting, he wanted to just get up and scream, grab Dan by the shoulders and shake him until he understood.

Phil did however get up as it was clear that Dan was not going to obey his command, walking over to Dan who had his hand gripped on the door handle.
"Dan I don't care what you say, we need to talk about this" Phil sighed, looking into the cold eyes of the boy who was causing this chaos, but still the boy he loved.

Dan snickered again, looking Phil in the eyes, making him feel a bit uneasy die to the intense stare, Phil looked away.

"What exactly is bothering you so much Philly?" Dan asked, sarcasm lacing his words as he spoke them with a venomous tone, one in which a murderer would speak to its victim.

"You can't keep behaving like this Dan, what's wrong with you! Getting drunk every night! It's been 3 weeks of this!"
Dan replied only with a smirk, making Phil's blood start to boil.

Phil stepped towards Dan but that caused Dan to take a quick step back in response.
Phil saw something else flash in Dans eyes, deep within the cold, empty pools of brown flashed an emotion that confused Phil even more.

Panic.

Without another word Dan opened the door and walked outside, slamming it loudly behind him.
The sudden silence that Phil was left alone in seemed to swallow him, questions swam through his thoughts as he sat back down on the couch.

Suddenly, an idea came to him, an idea that he knew was wrong and would be a compete breach of boundaries but Phil was desperate at this point.

In one swift movement Phil climbed the stairs and walked until he was met with the door to Dans room.

Dan had deliberately made it clear on many occasions that his room was completely off limits to Phil and to anyone else for that matter.

But Dan wasn't home, and Phil was desperate for answers.

Phil pushed the guilt aside and twisted the door handle, cringing at the creaking noise it made as he pushed it open.

The sight in front of him shocked him.

Dans wallpaper was falling off, hanging in shreds as if someone had been ripping it off the walls in a fit of rage or panic. His piano was filled with dust, covering the beautiful instrument in a thick layer of it. There was clothes all over the floor and his bed was messed up as if he hadn't made it in years.

This may not sound too concerning but Phil had always known Dan to be a clean freak and neat person, so this sight was one that filled Phil with concern.

He stepped over the disregarded items of clothing on the floor and went towards Dans personal bathroom, hoping to find something, anything that would provide some explanation.

Phil didn't know what he was actually looking for if he was being totally honest, he just wanted anything that would shine some light on the situation at hand.

He opened the door, cringing as that too made a creaking noise and looked inside.

Instantly a gasp escaped his lips and a hand flew to his mouth.