Sakura (How to Obtain a Reverse Harem in Naruto)

Prologue

I had been reduced to roadkill, headless roadkill.

To say that there was blood was an understatement, my body was literally swimming in its own pool of it. The front of the truck was covered in the stuff as well, I felt for the poor person who had to clean it off. Then there was the matter of my head, or lack of thereof.

I took a closer look at what used to be my head.

'Well, damn.' I thought, 'who's going to wash the dishes now?'

I'd like to say that I was perfectly normal and my thought processes were only shot due to the fact that I was in shock. I'd like to say that, really, but if I'm going to be honest, then I guess you could say I am a little special.

Okay, now onto my next dilemma.

'Why the hell am I still here?' I was one hundred percent sure that it is absolutely impossible to survive without a head and at that moment I spied with my little eye, one decapitated body with its former head definitely not attached to said body.

'Where is the white light? The tunnel? The... I don't know, Grim Reaper?' I mused. There are so many different possibilities as to what could occur after death; heaven, hell, limbo, reincarnation, rebirth or even nothing at all, just ceasing to exist entirely. I could easily accept all of those options even the latter, but remaining on Earth as a disembodied spirit would just be depressing and lonely.

"I refuse to be some kind of lingering ghost, you hear me?" I scowled; I had no clue why I tried to speak nor who I had tried speaking to. As the words left my mouth - which was rather odd, given the fact that I no longer had a mouth - I felt a strange tingling sensation wash over me.

For the second time today I found myself paralysed, though not by fear this time. It felt as though a supernatural force was holding me rigidly in place. The surreal sensation which had now permeated my entire 'body' had abruptly intensified to a point where it was beyond extraordinarily painful. Unable to focus upon anything other than the absolute pain invading my senses, I was only dimly aware as the world around me disappeared in a vicious swirl of colour.

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Waking up from a nightmare was always an arduous ordeal; heart pounding, breathing heavy, sweat dripping, clothes confining. That harrowing feeling of being unable to discern the difference between fantasy and reality.

It lead to the irresistible urge to search for familiar surroundings to reacquaint and reorganize myself.

My eyes fluttered open and I sat up on a soft bed. Impossibly bright light flooded my senses and I reflexively flinched away from it. There was a distant ringing in my ears and my mind was vaguely fuzzy. For several moments I remained stationary, attempting to adjust.

When the light wasn't as piercing through my closed lids, and my mind clearer, I decided to open my eyes.

After taking in my surroundings, I slapped myself hard on my right cheek, then again on my left cheek. The slaps left my face stinging like I face-planted into a pile of needles.

'But this has to be a nightmare, right?'

Because in no way shape or form was I in my bedroom. Gone were my familiar cool gray walls covered with pictures and posters, in their place was an eggshell white wall with little drawings of cherry blossoms. My once blue bed carpet had been taken over by a shameless baby soft pink. All of my furniture was interchanged with adorable, cutesy, entirely-too-feminine objects and colors.

My heart hammered inside of my chest and my hands flew up in a vain attempt to suppress my startled shriek.

The movement caused a few loose bangs to cover my eyes.

A pause.

'Why is my hair pink?'

Slowly, with great care and reluctance, I pulled my hair forward (which was somehow a foot longer, and no longer curly) and examined it.

'This is not my hair,' I realized. 'What the hell.'

Confused, frightened, and frustrated I threw off the covers from my bed and stormed across the room. My hands itched to hold my Kisame and Kakashi plushies (as I normally did when I felt anxious), but they were nowhere to be found. When I reached the end of the room I grabbed an elegant mirror that stood on a wooden white desk.

I gaped upon seeing my reflection.

Pink hair; green eyes; pale skin; long hair.

'Holy sweet berry loving Mew. I'm Sakura!'

I stared at her--at me in utter dumbfoundment.

'So,' I thought slowly, 'I somehow died and reincarnated into Sakura?'

Another pause.

'Aw, man! I wanted to be Hinata!'

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Revision note: This story is already complete on fanfiction (titled Sakura by Darkpetal16), but let's be honest: the grammar is atrocious. I've finished a fair few stories since Sakura and it's time I went back to her and tidied her up. The "updates" for this story will be completely sporadic as I don't work on the chapters chronologically. Since this is supposed to be a grammatically accurate story if you, my dear readers, spot any issues please let me know.

Important note: Since this story is on 抖阴社区 I have the ability to place pictures in each chapter. If any of you would like to have a certain picture featured just let me know. :) I have finally set up this account to forward alerts to my main email address! Hurray!