Sakura (How to Obtain a Reverse Harem in Naruto)

Important Authors Note at the bottom of this chapter. Please, please read.

"They say don't try this at home, so I'm doing it at your place."

-Anonymous

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Warning: Transition chapter.

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With care I sprinkled in a bit of my dried cilantro into the pot. The broth let out a happy bubble-burp at that, and I took my scoop and stirred it around. The dinner was coming along nicely. It was filled with venison, wild mushrooms, dried herbs, and a touch of honey. The broth was a pretty light gold and the meat was at that perfect medium-rare.

Behind me I heard the resounding smack of earth being cracked open along with Hinata's shout of surprise.

The fight against Kimimaro was going rather well. Naruto was able to run on without us to pursue Sasuke while the rest of us—minus me, and now Chōji who was being a sweetie and helping me grill the fish we caught—dealt with the poor boy. Kimimaro wasn't making it easy by any means, but the sheer number he faced (along with top-notch strategy and teamwork) spelled disaster for the kiddo.

Chōji flipped over the fish skewers over the crackling fire. "I think it's about ready."

"Okay, thank you, honey," I told him. Raising my voice I called, "Dinner's ready!"

There were some sounds of relief and Kimimaro's frustrated shout, but it seemed it was too late for him. Shikamaru had him bound by his shadows and Hinata and Neji worked flawlessly together to render him unconscious and disable his Curse Mark chakra. With a merry skip I wandered over to my future harem member and thanked Hinata for being so gentle with him.

Hinata smiled at me. "Of course. I'm sure Hokage-sama will be happy we were able to take at least one of them alive for questioning."

"Mm-hmm. Why don't you all get some food while I tend to him? He has a debilitating illness that requires near-constant treatment."

The group said their thanks and went over to Chōji while I slapped on a heart-pumping seal over Kimimaro's chest (courtesy of one Jiraiya after I promised to take him out on the town next time he came to visit). The seal would last 12 hours and keep his heart pumping, which should be plenty of time to get him to Tsunade.

I went ahead and tied him up and carried him over to our merry group. Kiba and Chōji were happily slurping away at the soup while tearing off bits from the fish. Hinata, Neji, and Tenten ate at more lazy pace. I sipped on my own soup and struck up a delightful conversation about the joys of what having a future harem will be like.

"I'll never be lonely," I listed on, "and every day will be a new adventure."

"Yeah, I mean, what's the point of monogamy anyway?" Tenten muttered.

"Monogamy is fine for some," I told her, "but I love too many people to be happy with only dedicating myself to one. And I want everyone I love to be happy and share their love, too. I think everyone would be happy if we all were one big harem."

"You've never felt jealous before have you?" Tenten asked me.

"I have," I told her. "But not when it comes to love. Love is love."

"That's certainly a progressive viewpoint," Shikamaru commented.

Lee slurped down the rest of his soup. "What a delicious meal! You'll make someone a happy wife one day."