Double Trouble Too // Neymar Jr //

-2.8- "Imagine That"

It isn't about me, me this, me that. People had lives, they had their own problems. They made their own mistakes.

Should I be pregnant, it won't be about me anymore. I would have to view the world from a selfless perspective. Should I not be pregnant, things would still have to change. My priorities, my humor, my speech.

It's like I strayed away from making new friends, because I convinced myself of growing. Maybe being mentally older than my peers. But it wasn't all that true.

Just because I was a footbalista, it didn't reserve me the right to act so foolish. Just because I was sponsored by huge brands, playing in the stadium of my dreams, had a group of friends who were always yesmen. It just wasn't right of me to act the way I had been. Always blaming people for things they had done out of human nature. Holding grudges. Pushing out positive thoughts in trade for focusing on what was affecting me.

I sat down with Lionel earlier that day, with Thiago and Mateo running around with their friends. We spoke from morning to afternoon, about everything. From the night of Gabriella, to the day where he found me in danger. He asked me how I was so quick to forget the whole Javier thing, but remember the events of June 7th, 2015 from start to finish.

Of course I remembered, but I did not pay attention to it. I pushed it away like nothing.

It bothered me, made me paranoid, irked me while I slept, I felt it within me. Talking constantly helped me push it to the sediments of my thoughts. Nobody was really listening though. They just look at me with a look of wanting to please me. As if I were to drop them if they said someting with little offense. Going professional did not look like this from the outside.

It was glitz, glamour, pictures, flashes of paparazzi, friends, celebrity connections, and most advertised of all: the love of the game.

It was numbing. It was see through.

I had the love of the game, but street style, Brasilian style. Any style but pro.

How ungrateful do I sound?

Was I after the game for the wrong reasons? Did I play for the fame? Because my twin brother had broken my leg due to fact that it was what he was looking for, too?

I clutched my stomach as it gurgled. I gasped, staring at my belly. It was littered with abs, but maybe it would be stretching soon.

"Molly," I turned around, holding the bars of the chair, "do you think Ney is alone right now?"

Molly smiled at me sadly, shaking her head no. My eyes went to the medium toned wooden floor, and back up to meet hers. I wanted desperately to tell him. To talk to him. But as I thought of him, my phone chimed. I looked down at it quickly.

Neymar 😊:

I have somebody who really wants to see u, oh Davi too. Kkkk

I laughed, grinning at Molly, who was grinning back at me.

Me:

Might be busy at that exact time but tell Davi he can pencil me in for say 40 mins from now? 😂😂 kkkkkk