The twins and I are about to perform in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
This is my first time performing since Josh and I got back together. I hope I can manage to be as passionate as I usually am on stage.
I take a few deep breathes as I try to stay calm and think of what Josh told me.
I'm really glad we're back together.
All of a sudden, Victoria saunters over to me and flings her arm around my shoulder.
"Hey sis, you're gonna do great tonight." She beams as her diamond shaped head tilts to the side.
"Oh, thanks." I express my gratitude as my eyes move across the room and my heartbeat starts sprinting.
"I know you might find it difficult to get into the songs tonight considering most of them are about Joshua. It sucks he couldn't be here tonight." Victoria mentions as she squeezes my shoulder.
...Where is she going with this?
"But I know you'll give it all you've got! I believe in you. Good luck!" Victoria taps me on the back as she gives me a small shove, sending me to the steps of the main stage.
The cheers and yelps of the crowd start to echo even louder. Grayson and Karma both walk on stage smoothly as usual. For some reason, I awkwardly follow them up, almost tripping on the last step.
The crowd grows louder with noise.
I feel as if I'm drowning in all the uproar. I'm trying to keep my cool.
Taking a quick glance around, I notice Karma notice my nervous physique.
"You okay?" She mouths to me.
I don't respond. Just walk over to the front of the stage as steadily as possible.
Okay, first song, first song, first song. What's the first song we perform, what is it?
Going over the album in my head over and over, Karma and Grayson make eye contact and wait until I'm ready to start playing.
Before! Before, before, before.
"Before..." I say the song title into the microphone as the crowd grows louder by the seconds.
I manage to spit out the lyrics as Karma and Grayson play along.
My hands start to become warm, my face grows red and my body starts to shake.
What's happening? I have never had this happen to me during a performance before. I just want to give these people the same emotion they came to see. I don't want this concert to turn south. I'm thinking too much. I'm thinking too much about something so stupid. I wish Josh was here.
Why am I so worried about whether I'll perform as passionate or emotional and raw as usual? This overthinking is making me so anxious.
Before I know it, the song is over and all my overthinking starts barreling towards me again.
Okay, next song...
-Josh's P.O.V-
"Whatcha thinking about?" Tyler solicited, dragging me out of my thoughts.
I look back over at Ty.
"Uh, this is the first time (Y/N) and I will be at an award's show together." I mention to my best friend.
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