Random x Reader

[Won't you say goodnight, so I can say goodbye?]

Saeran held his head in his hands, that terrible headache just wouldn't leave him.

What did he ever do to be tortured by her like this? He hadn't meant to harm or hurt her, never intentionally. He cherished her more than anything.

It was 3:20 am, he still felt no sign of sleep. His body felt like it was no longer under his control. He shook convulsively, clutching his head, trying to drown out all of his thoughts. It was all too overwhelming, nothing seemed to be in his control. He felt as if he should have stayed in that psychiatric ward for longer - he did not feel sane.

The memories began playing inside his head like a cassette-player again.

"What if I want to pursue you?"

"Thank you for the flowers!"

"I think you're really talented."

"I think I really like you."

That time she held his hand, he had been so afraid - but she showed no hesitation. Her hand was small and soft, warm in his. He had managed to look into those enigmatic eyes of hers as she stared at the garden in front of them; and he found himself drawn to her in ways he could never imagine. She felt like the only thing attaching him to life. She was like a string of thread attaching him to the world of the living. Once she broke away, that thread would tear and so would his connection.

The world of the living had stopped appealing to him ever since he had abandoned him. Saeran grew up as a weakling, tortured and unloved. Nothing in his life was ever in his own control and no one seemed to acknowledge his existence or love him.

She helped him imagine a world where the past did not matter - a world where the future held limitless potential for the both of them. A world where he would be loved, appreciated and cared for. It was everything he had dreamt of as a kid, everything he never got as a child. Everything that kept him going.

She soon became everything for him. Not too long ago he used to think he was insane and couldn't love or care for anyone, but she lit a fire inside his dead soul. He wanted to care for her, protect her and love her.

Saeran plucked the last flower from the garden. His bouquet for (Y/N), his (Y/N) was now complete. He imagined himself walking into her room and giving the flowers to her. He imagined the smile on her lips and the adoration in her eyes, the way she'd thank him. He then began to imagine how he would tell her how much he appreciated her and how thankful he was for her. He would then hug her, his first hug in 10 years - first hug after he  had left - and then he would gently kiss her.

He then saw her on the floor, blood surrounding her beautiful body. He stared at her in shock, when suddenly it all clicked. He had never screamed as loudly in his life.

The Saviour gave him a condescending look.

"What a pity that she had to die. She wasn't worthy of being a Believer," the Saviour patted him on the back as he stared at nothingness, "I'm sorry." 

He wondered why the Saviour said sorry but his question was answered almost instantaneously. An electric shock hit him, and he lost consciousness.

Saeran woke up screaming.

Again.

He wanted to pull out his hair and scream and cry forever. (Y/N) still never left his head to this day. She did not let him live a single moment. Every breath, every second, every vision and every dream consisted of her. She would hold his hand, compliment him and then disappear. It seemed to never end. He was slowly becoming a crazy man.

He had loved her more than anything, but now she had just become a nightmare, a sad and troubling memory that took away everything from him. It was ironic how she was everything to him but now she had stripped him off everything. He had nothing anymore. 

She was his biggest nightmare and she did not intend to say goodbye to his brain anytime soon.

Even though she happened to be the best of inspirations and was the epitome of love and care, she was cruel because she left him without teaching him the most important skill of all - learning to live without her.

[Haven't you taken enough from me? Won't you torture someone else's sleep?]

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A/N: I began V's route and I felt like I really needed to love and cherish my precious bean Saeran more, so here it is! Anathema is my favourite TØP song, and it inspired me to write this. Do give it a listen as it sets the plot for this oneshot, hehe.

I hope this wasn't too confusing? The reader is dead, Rika killed her. Saeran lost his memories of her (Rika made him go through a brain-washing program) but now the memories are back and (Y/N)'s torturing his thoughts. He misses her so much that she's become a nightmare for him.

Hope you liked it! Thank you so much for the 6K votes, I love you all. >_<

Vote, comment, fan, request and stay alive,
~Valdezzzing ❤