Life is Hell

I rushed towards the parking lot and walked off the property. After my panic attack I wasn't feeling like school. I didn't want to go to school today. The panic attack took all the power from me that I had saved in my body. I couldn't get through the school day without that little power my body was giving me. So I decided to just skip school. Nobody would notice if I would and even if they would, I had the perfect explanation. Wells saw the condition I was in, otherwise he wouldn't have had offered to take me to the nurse's office.

I started walking for a while along the road before I sat down on a fallen tree. I took a deep breath of the fresh air nature provided and looked down. There isn't much I could do in a situation like this. Whenever I had a breakdown or a panic attack it was best if I was left alone somewhere outside, so I was able to progress everything and to calm down. Luckily the fresh air did that for me, since I don't really have a person who could help me. I guess that person would have been my father, but on the other hand, if he wouldn't have died in that car accident, I wouldn't be in this position.

I sat there for a while until I saw an RV roll past me, then stop. The door opened and a tattooed man came out. He looked like he was living in that thing. "Hey you, are you okay?" He asked, walking towards me. He was blond or some kind of blond and had a beard. On his head he wore a cap, hiding most of his dirty hair. "Define okay" I told him, looking up. My make up most be running or something like that since I did cry. The only thing I could really rely on were my tears, they would always show up, each and every day.

"Okay as in are you hurt" He said and stopped right in front of me. "Define hurt? Physically I'm fine, mentally not as much" I told him, not knowing why I would tell a stranger all that. "Yeah, the mind is fucked up" He said and sat down beside me. "You wouldn't believe it if I told you how fucked up my mind is" I told him, looking at the man who seemed to be in his mid-twenties, but not much older than that. "Wouldn't I?" He asked. "You wouldn't! I don't even really understand what's going on with me. Ever since that accident and my father's death I have been having those scary and confusing thoughts that won't go away" I told him.

"You mean-?" He asked, not finishing his sentence. "Exactly. How amazing would it be to got to sleep and never wake up again?" I asked him. "You're still pretty young, why would you want to throw your life away like that?" He asked and I sighed "Because I have no reason to stay! There's nothing holding me here! My mother gives a shit, my sister gives a shit, I give a shit about my mother's deadbeat boyfriend, nobody at school gives a shit if I'm there or not, so why waste my time on earth when I have to spend it all alone in the cage my mind created for me?" I asked. "Because there is someone out there who cares about you" He said, avoiding looking into my face.

 "The only person that would have cared was my father and he can't care anymore!" I said, starting to build my wall up again. "Listen girl, life might look like shit right now, but it will get better!" He said and put an arm around me. I hesitated, but let his arm stay in place. I started feeling how my tears came back once again, then wrapped my arms around his neck and started crying into his chest. "It's going to be okay girl" He said and stroke the back of my head, while I continued soaking his shirt.

It took me a while to calm down again, before I let go of him "I don't even know your name" I said, trying to dry my tears. "Frank" He said and I gave him a small smile. The thing is, this was my first smile that I didn't force. "I'm Clare" I replied. "Are you feeling better Clare?" He asked and I nod "I actually am" I told him "Thank you!" "No problem, sometimes even a guy like me has to do something good" He said got up. "Where are you going?" I asked confused. "I need to find a place to park my RV for the night" He said and walked towards it. "Frank" I called and got up. "Yeah?" He asked and turned around. "Can I come with you?" I asked, although it was totally stupid of me to ask a total stranger to join him in his RV. Normally I wouldn't do it, but I felt like I was able to trust him.

"Are you sure you want to?" He asked as if he heard my concerns. "Yeah, I trust you" I said, grabbed my bag and followed him to the RV and climbed inside with him. He said down in the drivers seat and offered me the only other seat in here. I dropped my bag to the ground and sat down in it, watching the road as he drove. "I feel great right now. At least now I know that I can sit inside a car without breaking out into a panic attack" I said.

"I'm guessing you had that panic attack in a small car?" He asked and I nod "I did!" "This is an RV, bigger than a car. Maybe you just need your space" He said and I sighed. "Why can't I just be a normal girl? Why did all of that shit have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve a dead father?" I asked. "Life is strange. It does whatever it wants and there's no way to stop it" He said and drove into town and stopped in front of the Two Whales Diner. "Let's get inside" He said, but I hesitated. "I can't" I told him. "Why not?" He asked confused. "Because my mother works here and she will freak out and not only because I skipped school" I told him.

"What do you want to eat?" He asked. "Nothing" I replied. "That can't be true. You look like you haven't eaten in days" He said. "That isn't true!" I replied a little too fast. "Clare!" He warned. "I had a pancake this morning" I said and he gave me a look "Okay, I had one bite of a pancake" I told him the truth. "Anything you don't eat?" He asked. "A lot" I replied. "That's it, I'm getting you whatever I want and you will eat it!" He said and was about to leave. "Meat" I said and he looked at me "I don't eat meat"