Memory of You

Chapter Thirty: And This Is Where It All Falls Apart

Wrong thing to say! Mark grimaced. Alexandra gave the older lord a look to kill.

"No, in fact this is about the trips being taken by six other lords including Lord Markov, who had just recently returned. All of these trips are being paid in part by the castle." Alexandra said, through gritted teeth. Mark shook his head, hiding a grin. She's caught him on a technicality, he thought, the girl was smart.

"All financial details are approved by me, are they not?" She asked sweetly.

The older man seemed to be staring at his feet as he murmured his assent.

"Why wasn't I informed, then?"

"It must have been an oversight. I apologize, your Majesty."

"See to it that it doesn't happen again. For now, all finalized plans will be sent to me, including any financial agreements. Understood?"

"Yes, Majesty." The Lord muttered.

"And while we're having this pleasant conversation, Lord Crawley..." Mark could see that the Lord was surprised that she had used the word pleasant. Their little conversation was anything but.

Unable to foretell what she was going to say next, Mark leaned against the wall, observing the girl he had grown up with take control of matters in a way he was sure even the old King would have been impressed. There she was livid at the part Lord Crawley had played in sending Nicholas to his district, and she had yet to raise her voice or betray any other emotion.

"I would be very grateful if you could kindly stop interfering with my personal life. I understand you brought Lord Markov here to impress me." She said, calmly, Mark could tell her anger was simmering below the surface. "For the last three years I've been running Seraphine without any man, and at the moment, I do not feel I need to be married to do my job. So if you would please stop bringing suitors to the castle, I would greatly appreciate it. In fact, when I am ready to marry, I will find a suitor myself. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Majesty."

"Good...you may take your leave." She said, dismissing him.

Watching as the older lord scurried out of the office, Mark closed the door behind him, before walking over to Alexandra.

"Mind telling me what that was about, Alex?"

"Nothing, just clearing up some miscommunication." She said, giving him a smile.

"If looks could kill, Crawley would have been dead."

"Years ago, if that was possible." She acknowledged.

"Okay...so what happened between you and Nicholas this morning, since I'm guessing that has something to do with this." He changed the subject.

"Nothing happened, okay?" Alexandra said, a bit forcefully, as she cleared up the files on her desk.

"Why have a go at Crawley then? Although to be fair, I've been wondering when you'd put him in his place." Mark said, sitting down in front of her.

"I was tired with his meddling."

"Right...so why catch him on the finances?" Looking up at him, Alexandra glared.

"You already know why. And you probably know what happened, so why are you asking?"

"Not true...I don't have any idea what happened, but I can guess that it and Nicholas' trip have something to do with Crawley's dressing down." He told her.

Sighing, she twirled her chair to face away from him.

"Nick and I argued before he left...it was stupid. He was worried about me being stuck with Crawley's ideas of who is suitable for me, and I got upset that he didn't trust me. That's where it all fell apart." Mark could hear the regret in her voice. "I didn't even see him off properly because I got angry."

"And Crawley?" The guard pushed on.

"He's the idiot who signed off on the papers. I know I can't get him for it...but I did find out about the finances, and yes I was petty enough to use that." She said, trying to sound unashamed.

Mark tried to find some control, but the way she had said it, had him laughing at her.

"Lexie, Lexie, Lexie..." He started, having regained composure. "What are we going to do with you?"

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have let my emotions get in the way." Alexandra said turning to face him, all the while looking guilty.

Walking over to her, he leaned against her desk. For a young ruler, she had done remarkably well. At times she acted on impulse, but who didn't. The way she had faced Crawley with restraint was impressive.

"Alex, there are bound to be times when you act on emotion...but what you did today, you used your anger constructively and found something credible to talk to Crawley with, and you didn't kill him." He said, knowing she needed some support.

Having found out what had happened between her and Nicholas, Mark could see clearly what was going on. It was simple, they were afraid...three months was a long time to be apart, especially when things had just settled down. Neither of them were particularly good with goodbyes.

"Don't worry so much. You and Nick are going to be fine. Just write to him." Mark said, wisely. Giving her shoulder a squeeze, Mark hoped she would cheer up soon.

"Come on...let's go into town and see what's good to eat." He said, pulling her by the hand.

...

Exhausted after the day she had, Alexandra could feel her head throbbing. She was tired, and agitated, and it didn't help that she couldn't simply talk to Nicholas and sort things out. Even going to dinner in town hadn't completely gotten rid of her bad mood.

Lying in her bed alone, Alexandra pulled up her blankets, trying to get comfortable, but her head kept on thrumming. Great, now I'm stuck sleeping off a headache, she thought, grabbing a pillow and putting it over her head.

Nicholas, she thought with a little remorse. All she had wanted was to say goodbye to him, and send him on his way, but instead she had let herself wreck the entire thing. A part of her knew he was right to worry. Lord Crawley wasn't one to give up easily, and his insistence was one of his best tricks. He was always one to wear his opponent down, and then have them agree. But I wouldn't have ever said yes! She countered.

Wouldn't she be insecure if his parents were on a mission to find him a wife? She wondered. How would she have reacted if their places had been reversed? Probably a whole lot worse than him, she admitted to herself. All he had asked her was to keep Markov and Crawley at a distance, was he wrong? Sighing, Alexandra could see that she may have over reacted a little bit. The drum beating in her head was starting to fade.

I'll write to him, she thought, making up her mind. Tomorrow, I will write to him and we are going to sort these things out together. Just the thought had her feeling a little bit more relaxed.

Turning on to her side, Alexandra pulled the pillow away from her eyes. Holding it close, she allowed herself to close her eyes. There was a faint scent of Nicholas lingering on the pillow, the corners of her mouth turned up at the thought, a small smile forming.

Good night Nicholas, she thought as sleep found her.