adopted by josh dun | j.w.d

day 4 was...bad.

no one in my school had school today and amy took this opportunity to...be a total asshole.

me and the gang decided to have a fun day out. i got up and ready into this:

i put a ton of bracelets on to cover my old scars. i was a month clean and it felt good. but some lines were there still and i couldn't risk people seeing. i added a choker and then brushed my hair.

i headed downstairs to see josh and his brother. "another best friend? i am the luckiest girl ever" i say. the two boys chuckled as i hugged jordan. "i...errr...have to do something today. so...jordan's going to keep you company" he says.

i knew where and why he was going.

"actually i erm wanted to ask you something. can i go out with my friends today?" i doubt it would be a yes. "of course you can!" he says. "thank god, i was scared you'd say no" i laughed.

so after i had my breakfast i said bye to the boys and headed out. matt was waiting for me outside my house. i jumped with excitement.

so after hugging and all that shit, we got the bus into town. hayley, megan and kieran were waiting for us. "hey!" we hugged them all and headed into hot topic.

they kept me up with everything going on in school. we went to urban outfitters, top shop, bbw, victoria's secret, sephora, ulta, forever 21, nordstrom...

then it was lunch time. we all headed to mcdonald's to get some food. half way through us eating, we saw amy. i desperately wanted to go over to her and be a total bitch, but doing that would lead me into further trouble.

we all finished eating and decided to head to claire's. i spun round and was face to face with amy. i rolled my eyes "may i help you?" i folded my arms. "i'm not done yet mariah! i know there's something about you! as i will find out! i've already exposed you about being related to that emo singer and his ugly wife-" i cut her off. "do not say shit about them like that or i swear to god i'll stick those fake gucci heels so far up your ass that you can't move" i threaten her.

"mariah your just weak! sally told me everything! i know you have anxiety and your suicidal. i know what lies underneath those bracelets. oh and i also know your father is josh dun" she knew everything. because of sally. "y-you cannot tell anyone!" i exclaim. "hmmm...we can compromise" she grinned.

"whatever you want! j-just please you can't let anyone know!" i begged. "hmmm...okay" she smiled. "i want you to start cutting yourself again" my friends looked shocked. tears filled my eyes. "b-but i-i can't" i exclaim. "okay fine. i'll just post an article online about world famous josh duns adoptive daughter-" i cut her off. "okay! i-i'll do it! just please! don't!" i begged her. "you made the right choice" she smirked and walked off with her friends.

tears spilled down my cheeks. "mariah" my friends gave me a group hug and i cried my eyes out. "you should have told us you struggled with self harm. we could have helped" megan says. "i've been c-clean for a m-month now. i-i didn't think it was i-important" i whispered. "hey" hayley rolled up her sleeves revealing faded scars. "i've been clean for over a year. i've recovered. you can't go through with this. you need to tell josh" she says.

"i-i can't! he had an anxiety attack yesterday a-and i was helping him which i didn't mind but he has himself to worry about!" i was practically bawling. "mariah your struggling with anxiety yourself! you need to get the support you need! if you don't, you'll suffer forever" kieran says. "i can't though!" i cried harder, feeling worthless.

"let's take her home. we need to talk to josh" matt says. "he's not home. he went to see his therapist" i told them. he had. it wasn't a lie. i overheard him and jordan. "can you tell him when he's back then? or even before you sleep? he needs to know what's going on" he says. i nodded, though my hands were behind my back.