Static* on hold

You left me behind

**** A few weeks later

john wasn't the same it was like a piece of him had been shattered that night a wound cut so deep it would never heal.She never knew what to say.Some days he would act like nothing was wrong with the world around them hadn't come crashing down people die he would say then come night he was drunkenly sobbing into her chest.It was like walking on eggshell never knowing where to step, the thing with that is when you make the wrong move it hurts both of you the eggshell is weak and will crack but not before piecing the hell of your foot.For the people around John as of late all seemed, the target of this pent-up frustration

this particular day he had been his bizarre, he walked in this morning as always groggy, only coming in for a coffee then sneaking up to the training room. He and Karlee never had training anymore instead she practiced alone or with Lorna.However today he had invited her along and the unlikeliness of this invite didn't go unnoticed as the whole room looked quizzically and Karlee who shrugged and followed Thunderbird's lead.The training had been short he taught her how combat as knowing how to throw a punch was just as important as controlling your powers. After about 30 minutes he tossed her a bottle and began to talk, suddenly she no longer cared about how to get out of a headlock, John was talking truly talking and that's all she cared for.

"I never thought he would die "John confessed the words burnt his throat as he said it.

"I don't think anyone ever did, Pulse always had this unstoppable vibe surrounding him like nothing could ever hold him back," Karlee said staring down at the bottle he had just passed her

"I had people die before, back when I was fighting in Afghanistan, my team was attacked in the base a few of my squad mates died we were close but nothing hurt me this much I should have done something, I should have gone out there instead."

Karlee scoffed "gone out there and done what John, you would've been shot down all the same and Pulse would be at my side having this same conversation feeling this same pain.

"But at least he'd be alive Karlee" His eyes were glazed with sadness it broke her to see like this, she could understand how the world could shatter so fast, was life really that fragile.

"Can I tell you something from experience, a word of advice."John remained silent but gestured for her to continue."Okay, she breathed and began to tell her story had her mother had died an addicted she explained how her mother had lost someone to another woman and how it had torn the poor woman apart.She died when Karle was around six her liver had failed, her mother had been so wrapped up in grief it killed her."John, you can never drink away the pain or even wish it away." she stopped feeling tears well up in her eyes, her chest felt like it was going to give out."Don't you think I wished for her all those years but no good ever came of it, she's still gone and I'm here with a father who would hate what I am." as she blinked a tear escaped her eyes.

John looked at her finally.Noticing the single tear descending from her eyes to the end of her face.He stretched across and wiped it away, it was the first time they'd touched in weeks.His fingers lingered on her skin, wanting more."But I'm not as strong as you" He pulled his hand away.For the first time ever she saw him.Not the amazing person she had built up in her head, Not john lead, or John the man with a perfect combination of opposites Just him.She could see the beauty in the broken, she studied his face the curve of his mouth the long brown hair flopping across his forehead, she reached across and pushed it behind his ears.The hunger in his eyes mirrored the same hunger that had worked its way through her own body and taken over her icy blue eyes. She crashed her lips into his.His mouth opened under hers, hesitant at first but soon he was pushing back.Pulling apart the clip that held up her hair, she moaned as he ran his fingers through her blonde curls, which now hung at her shoulders.Her fingertips found the hem of his shirt and worked their way up, tracing patterns along the skin of his back, shoulder blades, marking her territory in a way. He pulled away and she felt a whine of disappointment escape her lips. Then his lips found her skin once more, kissing along her collarbone and neck but the brief time apart had awoken her mind.The thought couldn't be stopped by the low groans his mouth made against hers or the joy her heartfelt being close to him finally.Her mind was screaming out that this was wrong. She jerked away, in an instant, she had moved across the room rambling some sort of apology to John's bewildered face.Karlee knew it was the wrong tomorrow she would wake and her life would still be a mess. Two broken people could never work they were better off apart.She could never tell these days how John would be, she couldn't risk that, neither of them could handle the delicacy of a heart right now.

Karlee was no letter writter, she had only written a few in her life and here she was writing the second in the month, she signed it with a kiss and placed it between the gap of her Chester draws.She could risk them finding it so soon after she'd left especially now she knew how they had found her in the first place.SHe shoved all her clothes from her closet into her bag it was only a few that Elsa had borrowed her.She placed the leather jacket that Lorna had lent her down on the bed along with pulse's hoodie, neither of them were hers it would be wrong to take them.

Then she pulled out her phone and called the only person she knew would still want her, "Sarah it's Karlee." smiling as she heard the redhead gasp down the phone.

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