Sentiments

Life.

I think a lot about why I am alive.

Why was I born?

Why am I human? Why am I human still when I no longer FEEL human?

What is my purpose here? Everyone is born for a purpose, right? So what is mine?

Was I even supposed to turn out this way?

What if I have strayed from my path? What if I no longer have a purpose?

There was a time when I used to feel like I was normal. All the different, positive emotions.

I used to FEEL happiness.

I certainly could feel sadness too.

Why do we associate our feelings with our hearts when it's clearly our head?

It's all in our heads.

If we turn off that little switch; we stop feeling.

Did I turn off mine?

No.

It's still there. I feel it.

I'm not a machine. I feel. But it's only for a fraction of a second before emptiness overcomes that tiny sliver that I call hope.

What happened to me? Why am I this way now?

How did it all happen?

I want to be normal. Feel everything for longer and I want it to be sharper.

What's it worth?

If only I had something I could hold on to. A support.

A rock.

A constant in my life.

But then, nothing lasts.

I sigh. It's getting dark.

I rest my face on my hands and I watch the day fade.

The sky beautifully turns from yellow to blue.

The moon appears slowly. Shining brightly. Half a moon.

I'm a lunatic.

I start counting the stars. Why are they so far away?

The things we love, why must they always be out of our reach?

Stars.

They're my only hope.