Sentiments

Dedicated to janesalvatore_768 because you know why ;)

I'm staring into the space again. I'm zoned out. I'm no longer present.

Mentally, of course.

To be precise, I successfully managed to sneak out of my class and go to the rooftop.

The blind spot.

Unless you come from the door. But no one will be able to see me from down two floors.

College. So boring.

I shut my eyes and let myself feel the surroundings. The sun on my back, not too hot today.

The air smelling clean for once.

The-

"Suicide won't solve your problems, you know."

The footsteps.

I turned my neck to look at who dare interrupt me.

Ethan Smith. My classmate.

I looked at my legs dangling from the high railing I had managed to climb with a little effort.

No wonder.

I turned again. On his face was a frown, with his eyebrows furrowed and tendrils of brown hair falling down his forehead. He gave me a questioning look, ready to pounce at me dare I try to jump off the railing and well, die.

"I'm not trying to kill myself." I said.

He shifted from one foot to another. "Then why are you sitting in such a dangerous position?"

"Let's just say I love the thrill of it."

He gave me the are-you-serious look and then, probably deciding against his better judgement, followed the path I took every day to sit near me.

To say it was an awkward silence would be an understatement.

"You really thought I was going to kill myself?" I asked.

"...Yes," he said and looked at me with his grey eyes, "sorry."

I nodded and stared into space again.

"You look sad."

I get it a lot.

"I'm not particularly sad. It's just my resting poker face that makes me look sad."

"Well, you don't seem enthusiastic about life either."

"Yes, I'm not really enthusiastic too. I'm not really anything. I mean, I won't describe my life with a single label."

"Because you'll need a lot of them?"

"Because I'll need none," I said and looked at him, "I keep my feelings at bay."

He stared.

"Let me guess; emotionally damaged?"

He tried. I'll give him that.

"More like no emotions."

"Oh," he said.

Just then, the bell rang.

"Let's go to class," I said and jumped off.

"Be caref-!"

By then I had comfortably landed and brushed some dirt off my clothes.

"Nevermind," He mumbled and jumped off himself.

"Which class?" he asked.

"Same as yours," I said, walking down the stairs.

"Really? How come I never noticed you?" he said, surprised.

"It's okay," I turned to face him, so sure this was the last proper conversation we'll have for a while, "No one really does."